[ NEW S.T.A.T.S — STRENGTH: PHYSICAL=28 - MAGICAL=16 — TENACITY: DEFENSE=16 - SPEED=28 — APTITUDE: STAMINA=24 - MANA=20 — TILT: CONTROL=28 - LUCK=16 ]

  [ NEW COMMON C.R.A.F.T. AUGMENT: HEAVY ARMOR / LAYERED ARMOR — EFFECT 1: ON ARMOR CREATION, SELECT FROM ANY APPLICABLE ARMOR TO INHERIT THE SIZE, APPEARANCE, AND FEEL OF THAT SELECTION, EVEN WHILE RETAINING ALL OTHER EFFECTS OF EQUIPPED ARMOR — EFFECT 2: DISASSEMBLING A PIECE OF ARMOR ADDS IT TO THE APPLICABLE POOL, ALLOWING THAT VISUAL TO BE LAYERED ONTO ANY OTHERS OF THE SAME EQUIPMENT SLOT — WARNING 1: DEFAULTS TO NORMAL APPEARANCE IF NO SELECTION IS MADE — WARNING 2: LAYERED SETTING CANNOT BE CHANGED AFTER ARMOR C.R.A.F.T.ING ]

  I’m in a good mood today. A great one, actually. For three reasons.

  The first is covering me from head to toe. My brand new full set of Slizardic Heavy Armor. I only found six of eight pieces in the medium set over two weeks of grinding that whole place into the ground. Despite looting literally hundreds of left medium gauntlets each, Mich found the only right one between us. The fuck is that about?

  I still don’t know. But it stopped really bothering me once I got a type of drop I never saw before. Slizardic Heavy Armor Blueprints. Of course, there was the matter of needing at least one Common CRAFT Skill to make it. I never really cared to invest a point into my CRAFT that could instead go into my CLASS. Or Core since that counts towards higher-rarity CLASS Skills. But that all changed once I found the Blueprint. And it really changed once I hit Level Eight and had the EP to wear the whole set.

  So after I leveled up, I used a precious Skill Point on my first CRAFT Common.

  Then, I disassembled a lot of Left Slizardic Gauntlets and Grieves. Drop rate massively favoring the limbs on the left… Okay, maybe it’s still bothering me a little. But incompetent game design or no, it left me with enough raw materials to craft a full set of Common Slizardic Heavy Armor.

  I then disassembled the whole set to unlock the pieces as layered options. Afterwards, I still had enough left limb leftovers left to make a heavy set for the entire party. And another for myself. And another with different layered stuff. And another with different different layered stuff. And a bunch more chest pieces since I had the materials left and there were so many cute tops that I just couldn’t decide between.

  Which leads me to the second reason I’m happy today. I’m getting all the effects and whatnot from wearing a suit of heavy plate armor, but I don’t actually have to ‘wear’ the armor. The clothes I layered over it are still just as heavy. But with my Physical Strength and Stamina, the full set makes me feel about as restricted as tight clothes used to when I was… Human, I guess? Superpowers aside, my STATS alone are at the point where still calling myself that just feels kind of dishonest.

  But, like, I’m wearing a helmet right now. Only I’m not, having layered the full plate helm with a black headband I found for $5 in Welcome Hill. I even disassembled it before I left the shop. Which isn’t illegal. But it did land me a pointed glare from the woman I bought it from. I stopped disassembling stuff in front of Welcome Hill’s shopkeepers after that. Not to say I still didn’t disassemble every last thing I bought in that place.

  I’m wearing three non-layered pieces right now, but that’s just because the form-fitted dark metal boots are incredibly badass and the shoulders give me a satiny black cape. I still have a few layered switch-outs if I ever wanted to mix it up. You could even say I have all the layered options a girl could disassemble.

  Really, that was the key to my new obsession. Something to collect. To complete. And a literal eternity to do it. At the end of the day, that fact overrode everything. It wasn’t even a choice at that point. And it’s well worth throwing a Skill Point away for.

  But as content as I am about the decision itself, something else is bothering me. Why have I never found a blueprint before that one? Not even from the spiderswolves.

  Blueprints can’t be bought or sold, but can apparently only be ‘found’ by a qualified crafter.

  Mich told me about his Achievement for finding every possible drop from that rotting tree dungeon. That means my blueprints weren’t even in his loot table. So why were they in mine? Can I just pick up any Heavy Armor Blueprints at all? Or did those gross-ass abominations have something to do with anime?

  Huh… Yeah, not sure what genre they’re from, but I think I’m actually good with not knowing. Whatever it is, it seems like the total opposite of swords. Also the smell. And the slime. And the blood. So much slime and blood… I took those weeks to remove that hellhole from this world specifically because I never wanted to see, or think about those things, ever again.

  A placid, contented smile spills onto my face as I remember that it’s gone now. We made a real difference in Heaven by ridding it of that cesspit. It’s truly better for the loss.

  Rachel seems to spot my dopey grin. “What’s got you in such a chipper mood?”

  I don’t say anything. I just tilt my head up at the ceiling and open my nostrils to take in the swamp-like dungeon cave we just walked into. Then I take a big fat whiff of the muggy-yet-stale air.

  Savoring the taste, I blow out a contented puff of air. “What’s not to love? I finally have self-repairing pants. And a helmet. And for the first time in half a month, I’m in a dungeon where I’m not about to get all close and personal with literal fucking nightmare fuel.”

  Rachel’s face goes a bit green. “I get that. Especially the last bit. Thanks for the armor, by the way. But…”

  She skips ahead and turns to examine me more thoroughly. From my sleek, segmented black plate grieves, to my black jeans, gold belt, shirt, and bracelets in the glove slot. Then past my black pauldrons and cape, and finally up to my head completely uncovered by anything visible through thick crimson hair.

  Rachel then looks down at her own mismatched assortment of layered armor pieces. “I do appreciate you giving me the heavy armor. I’m even wearing it now. But how about, after this, us girls sit down and put together a proper outfit for me? I’ll cover the material cost, of course.”

  Uh oh… Now there’s a lump in my throat. “I, um… Sorry. I don’t have enough Slizard parts for that. I kind of… Already used them all?”

  Rachel’s entire world seems to fall away. “Oh…”

  “Yyyeah, and I wiped that whole place off that map, so…” I try to offer a reassuring chuckle. “But as soon as I find another Blueprint, I can make you some Layered Armor with that instead.”

  That seems to cheer her up. “Oh. Well then, why wait? What other blueprints do you have?”

  My throat-lump bobs up and back down once it seems to realize it can’t get any higher. “I only ever found the one.”

  “Oh… They’re rare then?”

  “I guess…”

  “Oh… Okay…”

  Ross picks that moment to voice an important concern. “Wait, I’m confused. The helmet I get. But why couldn’t you wear pants?”

  I look wearily at him despite the fact that he kind of just saved my ass from what was turning out to be the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had with Rachel. “Oh, don’t you start.”

  Mich swoops in and takes Ross over to the side, lowering his voice without seeming to realize that the acoustics in here make his whispering pointless.

  He gestures covertly over to me and sounds like he’s trying to induce ASMR to the entire dungeon. “She bought the pants back when we met Rachel. She just couldn’t equip them until now.”

  I grumble partially to Rachel, but mostly to myself over the sore subject. “Apparently they don’t ‘carry’ pants that don’t go in an Armor Slot…”

  Ross’s eyes go wide at the realization before narrowing again. “Oooh… So?”

  Mich eyes us all just as wearily as I did Ross. “So it goes like this. Everyone starts with eight Equipment Points, or ‘EP’.”

  Reading the room, Ross has no trouble choosing the least of three evils on who to offer his attention. Still, evil is evil. So his reply still comes out strained. “Oh great, more points.”

  Mich pats him on the shoulder. “I know what you mean. But at least these ones are easy to understand. Relatively, anyway. So, you start with eight. And every four levels, you get four more.”

  “Oh, okay. I do remember that ‘EP’ bit in my Level four notification. I wasn’t sure what that meant. So you get one per level then?”

  Mich shakes his head. “That would be easier, but not quite. At Level seven, I have the same 12 points to play with as you at Level five. Jessie, at Level eight, has 16. And that’s all she’ll get until she jumps to 20 at Level Twelve. The same goes for every four levels after that. If you’re ever wondering how many Equipment Points you have, just round your Level down to the nearest number divisible by four, add eight, and that’s your EP.”

  He shrugs. “Or just check your menus. You can even put it in your HUD if you want. Not sure why you would, but there you go. Like I said. Simple?”

  “That remains to be seen. What do you spend the points on?”

  “Not ‘spend’. Allocate. A Common boot costs one EP to equip. An Uncommon boot costs two. You don’t rely on weapons like she does, and the dungeons in Outset don’t drop Rare Armor, so it makes sense that you haven’t had to worry about it yet.”

  The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

  Ross slaps his own forehead. “Oooh… I tried to equip an Uncommon shoulder piece I found while you two were off clearing that tree. But it wouldn’t let me. That’s probably why, huh?”

  “Probably. Try again when you hit Level eight. Or just unequip your helmet or something.”

  Ross’s left gauntlet disappears from his forearm. The next second, an absurdly huge set of angular pauldrons appear around his shoulders. They’re at least three times the size of my black ones.

  Ross’s eyes widen far more optimistically than the rest of us. “Woah… Guess I have a reason to level now.”

  Mich seems genuinely proud about just how happy Ross’s revelation made him. “Right. So, since Jessie’s been running around with a Rare sword equipped with mostly Uncommon armor, she hasn’t even been able to equip a helmet before now. Let alone a full set.”

  I call over to where the boys are pointlessly whispering. “Or pants! Let’s not forget the pants!”

  Mich flinches, but then sighs, straightens, and stops whispering. “Yes. Or pants.”

  In the interest of changing the subject, I jump to my feet. “And speaking of things I haven’t been able to equip… It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!”

  I look hopefully around at the group, but only find blank stares. “At least it’s the moment I’ve been waiting for…”

  In fact, it’s the third and greatest reason for the proportional quality of today.

  [ RARE WEAPON EQUIPPED: SLIZARDIC KATANA - 69 PHY - 34 MAG ]

  I swell with pride at the System confirmation as it appears strapped to my waist. Not only is the Physical damage objectively hilarious, but it’s actually pretty apt. Despite the sword’s grotesque origins, it’s made of a sleek black that someone who isn’t me might even call ‘sexy’.

  Taking another deep breath, I savor the moment of debuting the second katana I’ve ever held. Discounting yesterday when I tossed a couple to Ross like so much charity.

  I exhale slowly, blowing air through my teeth in a reference that lasts right up until I start unsheathing the sword. “GARF!!!”

  All at once, my breath catches, I drop the katana, and I flinch back from the water spraying off my blade like that one time I held my thumb over a hose on full blast.

  Thankfully, the water stops the moment I let go.

  But my sentiment remains. “What… The fuck..?”

  [ UNCOMMON ACTION: SPACIAL ANCHOR - SWORD ]

  Teleporting to my dropped katana, the resulting shockwave splashes all the water left in and around the still-drenched sword, in all directions. Like if a water balloon had the force of a grenade. Is that a thing? It’s probably a Skill, right? Fuck, I’m putting this off aren’t I?

  With all trepidation, I reach down to pick up my katana. But the instant I touch it, the omnidirectional water jet resumes.

  Re-dropping the sword, I just glare at it.

  Ross hesitantly walks over after several seconds of nobody else doing anything.

  Standing above, he takes out a bottle and carefully tips it so just the tiniest few droplets of lukewarm water fall out. At which point, he jumps back and barely dodges getting splashed as they explode like shrapnel the instant they touch the black metal.

  With a solemn nod, Ross re-adds the bottle to his inventory. “Yeah, that’s what I figured.”

  He glancing around at the odd looks he’s getting, he seems bewildered that he would have to elaborate, even as he does. “It’s hydrophobic. Violently so.”

  Rachel and Mich get it right away. “Oooh.” Leaving me the only one in the dark on why my new sword is broken.

  Mostly out of frustration at the situation in general, I throw my arms to either side and wage an internal battle not to actually yell at Ross. “And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “It repels water. Or any fluid, really.”

  “Oh.”

  Mich walks from him to me and puts a hand on my shoulder this time. “Looks like it’s back to the spider sword, kid. Sorry. I know you were excited.”

  Already clenching my fists, arms ramrod straight at my sides, the ‘kid’ remark does nothing to help my mood. “No.”

  Those last two nightmarish two weeks… After all that?

  I slam my foot down. “NO.”

  Mich shakes his head in a sigh. “What do you mean ‘no’? None of us, least of all you, wanna get sprayed every time you touch your weapon.”

  But I don’t move. I don’t respond. I just navigate my menus. Fuck it. Fuck the whole goddamned fucking thing. I’m sick of the indecision. I’m sick of tiptoeing around this. And I’m SICK of getting wet all the time.

  [ COMMON C.L.A.S.S. PASSIVE: ANIME / ELEMENTAL BREATHING — AVAILABLE MODS: COMMON=16 - UNCOMMON=12 - RARE=8 - EPIC=4 - LEGENDARY=2 - MYTHIC=1 ]

  All told, I only have a bit less than 25% chance to get anything that changes the element. And what if I land in that other 75? Then what do I do about this? Go back to the ‘Spider Sword’?

  As time passes and I subconsciously hang from the ledge of pressing the mental button, Mich’s eyes gradually widen as he puts two and two together. “Wait. Jessie, what’re you doing?”

  [ USE TRUE RANDOM MOD STONE ON COMMON C.L.A.S.S. PASSIVE: ANIME / ELEMENTAL BREATHING? ]

  Before I do it, one last whispered word escapes my lips. “No.”

  Then I hold my breath. Aaand-

  [ COMMON C.L.A.S.S. PASSIVE: ANIME / ELEMENTAL BREATHING — EPIC MOD SET: UNIVERSAL CONSTANT ]

  My mouth goes dry at the same time as the world lurches. It even knocks the wind out of me.

  But the lurch only accelerates from there. It’s like the whole of reality is lagging. Everything moves in slow-motion one moment, and skips forward the next. Then it pauses before, without accelerating, jumping into fast-forward. It moves faster. Faster.

  What the fuck is going on? “Guys? What the fuck is going on?”

  None of the others seem to register anything out of the ordinary as they just look at each other, even while themselves speeding up and slowing down at random intervals.

  Although Rachel jumps and jitters through spacetime to look at me with clear concern, none of them actually answer.

  I bend down to pick up my katana, determined to at least make something out of this situation. Everything feels… Wrong. But what about the only reason I went through with it when I did?

  Coming down with what feels like extreme motion sickness, I tense up for several reasons as I grasp the hilt.

  I remain tense, only for one less reason as I catch the distinct lack of water spray.

  Rising to my feet, sword in hand, I’m overcome by a distinct sense of vertigo.

  So I holding my breath.

  Then the world freezes. Including everyone and everything in it. Including me. What… The fuck?

  Belatedly, I remember to breathe. That at least, unlike apparently everything else, I can do.

  And as I do, everything stutters. And jerks. And slows to the point of freezing again as I get startled by the hand on my shoulder.

  Mich looks me over with concern before sounding like a corrupted sound file. “You okay, Jessie?”

  My head whips around so fast that my neck feels like it’s a hair away from snapping. But that doesn’t mean I’m about to admit to anyone, much less him, that my plan was anything but perfect.

  So I try to remain as outwardly un-tense as possible despite the myriad reasons I’m very much otherwise. “Yeah.”

  I gesture with my left hand at the distinctly dry black sword I’m holding in my right. “See?”

  Rachel does a fist pump. “Whoo!”

  But even I can tell she’s more worried than happy, despite having joined me in pretending that everything’s fine.

  Ross lets out a sigh of relief from across the room as soon as he registers the lack of water spray. “Oh thank Christ.”

  At that, he resumes our path through the refreshingly only slightly putrid cave. “Shall we?”

  I make a show of perking up in what I hope is believable excitement. “Yes, we shall.”

  Rachel snickers at Ross. “Looks like the sword isn’t the only hydrophobic thing around here.”

  Ross glares back at ‘us girls’ walking behind him. “Oh, shut up.”

  Only Mich doesn’t move, glaring a hole in the back of my head before eventually following after us. Can he see how unsteady I am? Does he know? Is he really that observant? No… That’s the wrong question.

  Are Ross and Rachel really that unobservant? I mean at this point, I’ll count two out of three as a major victory. I’m viscerally aware that I don’t deserve to trick anyone with how I’m barely holding it together.

  Yet, poor as it is, I don’t let up on my attempt to pretend at normalcy.

  A few wends and winds in the path later, we run into the dungeon’s first monster group. A bunch of rats. At least they look like rats. They’re just way too big. Not quite what I’d call ‘monstrous’. More like if a normal rat was scaled up to the size of a house cat. And turned purple. And given buck teeth. And a curl at the end of their tail like the center of a lollipop.

  Making sure not to hesitate and give up the act, for the first time, I properly unsheathe my newest sword.

  [ COMMON ACTION: IAI QUICKDRAW ]

  [ UNCOMMON ACTION: COUNTER SHEATH ]

  [ RARE TOGGLE ON: EXTEND-O-SWORD ]

  The enemies jerk and jump towards me.

  I bat one away to send it flying into the wall.

  The next splatters the ground with blood from the wide gash I make across its stomach.

  A third sinks its freakishly wide bucked teeth into my ankle. Then the first gets up and practically telefrags me with a chomp of its own. So does the second, despite what I thought was a pretty debilitating injury.

  Before I can do anything but hyperventilate, my HP starts melting at the rapid-fire attacks from every direction.

  Appropriately, that’s when I panic.

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  The first activation throws all the rats away. But the next eight don’t hit a thing.

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  [ COMMON ACTION: AURA BURST ]

  Aaand now I’m out of MP.

  [ COMMON TOGGLE OFF: RADIAL AWARENESS ]

  And just like that, I’m unable to do much but mentally dissociate as the rats I just aura-bursted across the room dash back over at super speed. They join the rest that swarmed me in the meantime, and promptly return to biting me all over like nothing happened.

  Thing is, it’s been a long time since those first few spiders killed me like this. I have armor now. Which is good. And I invested all my Tenacity points into Speed. Not Defense. Which, while generally conducive to my normal fighting style, at the moment, is bad. Very, very bad.

  So bad in fact, that none of my teammates can even make it over here before my HP melts all the way down to zero.

  [ YOU DIED — XP DEBT: 4,096 — RESPAWN DELAY: 8 HOURS ]

  Fuck…