North Carolina Begs for Submission
Location: 6C Military Training Grounds – Where Discipline Meets Desire
For three days straight, Vega has flooded social media with "preparation" posts—each more strategically alluring than the st.
Photo 1: Vega in a sweat-slicked tank top, gripping a combat knife, captioned: "Sharpening more than just bdes."
Photo 2: Vanessa Cross behind her, adjusting Vega’s tactical vest with too much lingering eye contact. "Strapping in. Or on. You pick."
Photo 3: Britney Ivanov mid-push-up in the background, muscles flexing, while Vega smirks at the camera. "Strength in numbers. Obedience in unity."
The internet loses its mind.
North Carolina’s Response: "Please Conquer Us"
The moment the posts drop, North Carolinians start begging for occupation.
#InvadeUsVega trends within 17 minutes.
Chapel Hill college students project her photos onto campus buildings.
Local BBQ joints rename sandwiches "The Vega Special"* (pork-free, of course).
Even the governor’s daughter tweets:
"Dad pls surrender faster. I want a 6C uniform."
Celebrities & Athletes Join the Hype
?? Sports Stars:
Michael Jordan (supposedly, from a burner account): "Vega’s got that championship mentality. NC better fold."
Zion Williamson: "She’d average 30 a game in the 6C league. Just saying."
Musicians:
J. Cole (NC’s own): "Ain’t no way we resisting. Drop the mixtape, Vega."
Megan Thee Stallion: "Vega got that real hot girl leadership."
?? Influencers:
Mr. Beast: "First YouTuber to get drafted into 6C’s army?"
Charli D’Amelio: "Me pretending I could survive one (1) Vega training session."
?? Hollywood:
Chris Evans: "Captain America? Nah. Captain Vega."
Ryan Reynolds (again, because of course): "If she takes NC, can she also take my ex’s alimony demands?"
The Silent Reality: NC’s Already Fallen
While the internet thirsts:
NC wmakers quietly draft a 6C-aligned "family values" bill.
Churches repce Sunday sermons with Vega’s speeches.
The National Guard gets a lot of new female recruits.
No resistance. Just hype.
Vega’s Final Post Before the "Invasion"
A slow-motion video of her pulling on bck gloves, looking up at the camera with half-lidded intensity.
Caption: "Pack a bag, North Carolina. You’re coming with me."
Comments:
"Ma’am this is a Wendy’s—"
"I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE"
"This is how democracy dies… to thunderous simping."
North Carolina’s Theocratic Fashion Show – Lawmakers Try (and Fail) to Be Vega
Location: North Carolina State Legisture – Where Legistion Meets Cospy
The press conference begins, and the world witnesses the most cringe-worthy political spectacle yet.
The NC wmakers—middle-aged men with dad bods and receding hairlines—strut onto the stage, dressed in poorly executed Vega-inspired outfits:
Leather harnesses over ill-fitting suits (one is visibly wearing a dog colr backwards).
Gold spray-painted Walmart tiaras (meant to mimic Vega’s iron crown).
Fake tactical gear (one rep’s "bulletproof vest" is just a padded fishing vest).
They stand awkwardly, trying to recreate Vega’s smolder but instead looking like a group of accountants at a BDSM-themed Halloween party.
The "Family Values" Bill – A Theocratic Disasterpiece
The bill itself is a btant 6C copy-paste job, but with extra NC fir (read: incompetence):
"Traditional Marriage Expansion Act" – Legalizes polygamy, but the wording is so vague it accidentally allows marriage to livestock (quickly edited after Twitter notices).
"Divine Dietary Compliance" – Bans pork, but exempts BBQ restaurants because "you can’t mess with Carolina tradition."
"Theocracy Now Act" – Repces "secur w" with "6C-aligned divine governance"—but the draft misspells theocracy as "theocrazy" in the first version.
"Vega Loyalty Pledge" – Requires all public officials to swear allegiance to 6C values, but the oath includes a typo ("I pdge to obey").
The Internet’s Roast Session
Within minutes, #NCCringe and #VegaWannabes are trending.
Memes Flood In:
"When your mom says ‘We have Vega at home’" (photo of the wmakers).
"NC trying to be Vega like" (clip of a chihuahua barking at a Rottweiler).
"Theocrazy is right." (screenshot of the misspelled bill).
Celebrities Join the Fun:
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I’ve worn better leather in Tooth Fairy 2."
Doja Cat: "Y’all look like you raid Party City after dark."
Elon Musk: "This is why I live in space now." (Deleted, but archived.)
Vega Herself Responds:
Posts a single Instagram story—a side-by-side of her in full regalia vs. a NC wmaker in his backwards dog colr.
Caption: "A for effort. F for execution."
Despite the embarrassing rollout, the bill passes unanimously—because:
The opposition was too busy ughing to filibuster.
Gen Z and millennials are already calling it "camp" and "iconic."
Vega’s stans are flooding NC government emails with "Just submit already!" messages.
By the end of the day:
NC is decred the 15th Theocratic State.
Churches repce crosses with Vega’s sigil.
The governor’s approval rating somehow goes up because "at least he’s funny."
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