My pretentiousness and greatness

  Because of that damned finger, my first quarrel with Yu Tian ended unresolved. He explained himself afterwards and promised not to interfere in other people's business again, but the pessimism and inferiority complex I had didn't decrease one bit. Now I don't like touching his phone anymore.

  I also have such emotions. Sometimes I feel that we are two people who are very similar in nature, deeply loving yet lacking a sense of security. I understand that in this lukewarm relationship, if there can be further development, perhaps we can return to the sweetness of a few days ago, and this further development is actually still about rolling in bed together.

  It's a bit tacky, but we're just common people.

  In Yu Tian's view, we only feel safer when something happens, but I take refusing to happen as my last layer of protection. These days when my fingers were injured, he also tempted and joked, but every time it was about to reach the final step, I still couldn't do it. After a long time, he gave up, and even didn't spend as much time with me in bed like before, he put more time into work, and didn't let me cook or do chores anymore, every day we just ordered takeout, we sat face to face eating, on the surface it looked pretty happy, after dinner he continued working, I was watching romance dramas on the side.

  Watching the sorrow of spring and autumn, occasionally I notice that he will come over to coax me with a soft tone. Then he walks away, and I continue to be sad.

  I know Yu Tian is really busy, if it wasn't for waiting for my finger to fully recover, he would have returned to the company already. His care for me was not perfunctory at all, that kind of genuine and sincere love I understand better than anyone else.

  But my mood got worse and worse every day.

  I know the feeling of falling in love with someone, but I don't understand how to love him. I understand the concept of dating, but it seems like I'm not good at it. Sometimes I wonder, if Yu Tian is always busy, what he needs by his side is just a person who can talk and walk and smile, someone who can chat when he's bored, tease him when he's in a good mood, and do that thing at night. Best of all, this person should have an on/off switch, so when Yu Tian sees her and isn't in the mood, she can just be turned off and locked away in a cabinet.

  It's just that I couldn't give it to others.

  So, on the second day after the gauze was removed from my fingers, I stopped going to Yu Tian's small house, and he also started returning to the company office. Of course, I'm a big idle person who doesn't need to go to work, so I started staying at home all day, and I went shopping with Chunzi, buying a big bag of snacks.

  Junko asked me if I had any worries, I said no. The thing between Yu Tian and me is still a secret for the time being, it's not allowed to be made public by me, just like when I was first pregnant everyone was worried, I'm always afraid that once this thing gets out, it'll be ruined.

  I don't know why Junko had to have a child at such a young age, I've also heard that children are used to maintain the emotions between two people. Also, at first, a pair of what didn't understand each other's little lovers, after the first quarrel they would hold hands, after the second they would hug, after the third they would kiss, and then roll in bed sheets, every time their emotions could get a bit of sublimation.

  Then, the skill of rolling bed sheets can be upgraded several times. When the bed sheet can't roll out new tricks, it's almost time to have a kid. In the future, two people raising a little ancestor will no longer have the energy to quarrel and break up.

  Or for a lifetime, it's really perfect to be so compatible.

  At this point, Junko glared at me with contempt, "What's wrong with you?!"

  I miss him. These two days, our contact has become very formulaic, with three phone calls every day, after breakfast and lunch, speaking sweet words, but my heart is always empty, this emptiness is also known as missing someone, I regret not going to find him, when I started to pretend to be calm, I couldn't show my face anymore.

  After breaking up with Kaoru, I took my snacks and went home, continuing to date disaster movies. Since I locked myself at home, the chances of meeting Lin Yue also increased.

  That day he got off work early again, changed into slippers and sat down beside me. I shifted over, he followed, I shifted again, and he continued to follow me. Until the two of us were almost stuck together, I suddenly stood up, Lin Yue grabbed my arm, and I almost fell onto him.

  My bad mood was triggered again, "Are you done yet?!"

  Lin Yue was teased by me and didn't get angry, but instead smiled. Honestly, I think his smile is particularly sinister. He said, "Sai Xi, look, you're not happy."

  This sentence made me unhappy for an entire afternoon, and that evening, after dinner, I refused to answer Yu Tian's phone call. I don't know why, but when I'm not in a good mood, I really want to convey this emotion to him and infect him with it at the same time.

  These past few days, although it can't be considered a cold war, have made me very uncomfortable. I even wish I could have another fierce argument with Yu Tian, and of course this time I won't let myself get hurt so badly. After the argument, even if he wants to drag me along to roll around in bed, I absolutely won't resist.

  I've figured it out.

  Before going to bed, I decided to send Yu Tian a message, deleting and modifying several lines, leaving only four words.

  "I miss you."

  It took almost ten minutes for him to respond, and surprisingly, it was just a single word: "fuck".

  "Huh?"

  I'm so angry, but I re-edited it: "Missing you!"

  "Then come over here now."

  No way! I definitely can't go. What makes me listen to him? I replied, "I'm not going."

  "Oh, I'm going to sleep."

  "Wait for me, half an hour."

  I finished sending the message and hurriedly got out of bed to find clothes, then my phone rang, it was Yu Tian, I hastily picked up, as soon as the call connected I said "You're not allowed to sleep, wait for me!"

  Yu Tian was suppressing a smile on that side, but I still heard it. I asked him what's wrong, he said, "You look out the window."

  I walked over obediently, lowered my head, and Yu Tian was right in front of me. Although we were separated by several floors, he looked up at me with a smile on his face. The streetlights were dim, but I seemed to be able to see his face particularly clearly.

  It's really great, I also like it very much.

  At that time I had a very impulsive idea, I wanted to rush into Yu Tian's arms immediately, even if it was in the form of jumping off a building. Fortunately, Yu Tian stopped me in advance.

  "He said on the phone, 'Get dressed and wait for me.'"

  "Uh-huh." I replied softly, feeling extremely shy and embarrassed, unable to even look at it directly.

  Half a minute later, Yu Tian asked me to open the door and then hung up the phone. I walked over quietly, carefully opened the door, and as soon as it was open, Yu Tian directly pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly until I could hardly breathe.

  We went downstairs hand in hand, and I asked him how he ended up under my building.

  Yu Tian angrily said he had been there for several days, how come I never knew if I just looked down.

  I asked him why.

  He said seriously, "I've been waiting for you."

  When he said that, Yu Tian's eyes were very deep and emotional. He was waiting for me, even when I was in a bad mood and didn't want to talk to him, and thought he was tired of me, he just quietly waited for me.

  I think that if I hadn't finally told him how I felt, or if Yu Tian had just kept waiting, he would have been better at waiting than me. His only initiative ended in disappointment and despair.

  I suddenly felt a pang in my heart, and I told Yu Tian that the boy he saw in Japan was actually my younger brother Si Chen. Previously, I didn't want to explain clearly because I wanted to leave some sense of crisis for him, but now I don't want to anymore.

  Yu Tian listened to me and just smiled, he asked how to prove it.

  I whispered in his ear and said a sentence. Well, the meaning is that I'm going back with him today to handle the thing that upgrades our love.

  Yu Tian's initial response was that he didn't want to force me, and then he agreed anyway, which might be his nature as a grown man. Of course, the unprecedented sweetness between us.

  We went back to his small house together, I took a bath first and then wrapped myself in the quilt waiting for him. After he finished bathing, he came out and pressed himself directly on me. I raised my hand to turn off the light, still not quite used to being looked at by him like that.

  Just as they were about to take the final step, Yu Tian stopped and suddenly turned on the light. I rubbed my eyes, feeling a bit disoriented, and looked at him in confusion.

  He slowly raised his finger, on which there was blood.

  It hasn't even started yet, soon we'll both understand, I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Yu Tian pretended to be angry, "Good, you deliberately deceived me!"

  I laughed and said, "Really wasn't on purpose."

  In the midst of our bickering, Yu Tian ate several pieces of tofu again. He suddenly got up and put on his clothes, I didn't dare to look at him. Before leaving, Yu Tian told me to take a bath.

  About ten minutes later, he came back with a bag of ABC.

  That night we slept tightly in each other's arms, at most playing a little kiss, I could feel his restraint, and even more through that restraint, I could feel the true love.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and said, "I'll learn to be confident, and I'll believe in you."

  Yu Tian didn't say anything, he just leaned over and carefully kissed my mouth, but I knew what he was thinking was the same as me. What I couldn't understand, nor could I anticipate, was that after this failed attempt at rolling in the sheets, Yu Tian and I still had more bumps ahead of us on our path. Having missed this opportunity, he might be taken into another girl's bed...