The true face of 85 days

  I hung up the phone, and the matcha cake in front of me had already been hacked to pieces, its wilted appearance was similar to mine.

  Actually, after Yu Tian's voice came out, I nervously picked up my phone and switched it back to speaker mode.

  Yu Tian said, go home and wait for me, I'm still in a meeting.

  Home.

  There was a time when I thought that the "home" that Yu Tian and I shared was real, but because I never responded, he added, "I changed the password back."

  I finally held my breath and dug out a small piece of cake and stuffed it into my mouth.

  "What? What did Yu Tian say?"

  Nothing.

  I lowered my head, and with our years of tacit understanding, Junko easily saw through my wavering. She looked at me with a complicated gaze, then shook her head, "Forget it, I won't get involved in your affairs."

  After a moment of silence, my phone rang again frantically. I looked at the name on the screen and frowned as I answered it.

  Lin Yue's voice was deliberately lowered, "Where?"

  I quietly raised my head and looked at Junko's back which had already gone away. "When I'm with Junko, we have dinner together at night."

  "Shall I pick you up?"

  "It's all right." I clutched the spoon and deliberately made some knocking sounds on the already empty plate, "I don't know how long it will take."

  "Alright then, be careful yourself, call me if anything happens."

  "Uh-huh." I was about to hang up when something occurred to me and I casually said, "Thanks for yesterday."

  The other end of the phone was silent for a moment, then suddenly hung up with a busy tone, probably he didn't want to hear that sentence.

  Leaving the coffee shop, I wandered aimlessly alone on the street, feeling a mess in my head.

  Yes, my second and third personalities are eager to start shouting again. They attack each other with sharp tongues, one overflowing with infinite sadness, while the other is sarcastic and seems to want to grab someone's collar.

  To be honest, I was torn about whether or not to go find Yu Tian. However, before I could make a decision, my feet had already taken me to the bottom of his apartment building.

  I furrowed my brow, how can it be so close.

  As I opened the door with the password lock, my heart was filled with a sense of guilt. Before my eyes, it seemed as if I could see Lin Yue's icy face from years ago. In the end, it was still my second personality that emerged victorious. With a nervous heart, I once again stepped into Yu Tian's small room.

  Nothing has changed, just like the last time I came. Even the kitchen is the same, the fridge is empty, he hasn't cooked for himself in a long time.

  It's still early, I walked around the house and sat down on the sofa, there was a laptop on the coffee table. Yu Tian has two computers, one is carried with him, and this one is left at home for backup, I also often use this computer.

  He opened the screen, but he didn't shut down, and it stayed on a page that I was very familiar with.

  No, it doesn't count as something I'm familiar with. Because every time I see it, it's just an ordinary page, on Yu Tian's computer, it's a page that is being edited.

  This is Xiaoxing's blog. Half of the content has been edited and several photos have already been uploaded, which are the flower sea in Hokkaido.

  I gently closed the laptop screen and dialed Lin Jing's phone number. He picked up quickly, and on the other end came the sound of keyboard and mouse clicks, along with the background music of a game.

  "Hello? Xi Ji, what's wrong?"

  I asked, "Aren't you in a meeting?"

  "No, actually there was a meeting scheduled for today, but Tian Ge cancelled it at the last minute."

  "Hmm. He went back?"

  "What's wrong?"

  "It's nothing. Do you know where Yu Tian went on his last sudden business trip?"

  "Oh, it seems like Japan..."

  I hung up the phone and saw the pillow doll we had chosen together on the sofa, suddenly feeling a wave of nausea. I threw all the pillows to the ground, and at this moment, the door opened.

  Yu Tian walked in, frowning at me. He took a step closer, seemingly trying to restrain his emotions, and asked in a gentle tone, "Are you angry from waiting too long?"

  Yu Tian said as he naturally grasped one of my hands and pulled me over to his side.

  I smiled slightly and shook my head gently as I looked at his sparkling eyes. "Is the meeting going smoothly?"

  Yu Tian looked at me with a puzzled expression, "It's okay, I bought some groceries back, let's cook together?"

  I'm not hungry.

  "Then you accompany me to eat some, huh?"

  Yu Tian said with a faint smile, his other hand resting on my shoulder, slowly leaning in towards me. His scorching gaze was burning me, filled with an alluring aura. Yet I could only feel the lingering chill that seemed to envelop me completely in an instant.

  It also extinguished the last bit of expectation I had for him.

  Before his lips touched mine, I broke free and raised my hand with force.

  Yu Tian stared at me incredulously, I don't know if it hurt or not, but looking at the five distinct finger marks on his face, I still felt heartache, mixed with malice in my heart, that feeling was about to drive me crazy.

  All along, I thought I could understand him, see through him, and I thought I really understood everything about Yu Tian. I even blamed myself countless times for misunderstanding him, but now everything has become a huge mockery.

  Before I left, I smashed everything in the house that could be smashed: his computer, LCD TV, glass coffee table, water cup, and the bowls and plates we bought together.

  I know this is a particularly unrefined outburst, but at times like these I can no longer be refined.

  "Enough?" Yu Tian frowned at me.

  Unexpectedly, there was no blame in his expression, but rather a kind of tenderness, yet I still felt disgusted after seeing it.

  I think he was angry too, and furious. In the end, Yu Tian chose to release his discontent with action, I was pressed against the wall by him, then he leaned down and fiercely bit my lips, disregarding my resistance as a pair of hands wandered over me searching.

  I remember that day in the village, it was raining heavily, on the bus...

  Tears streamed down my face all the way to where our lips met, and Yu Tian finally took a deep breath and let me go. I gave him another slap.

  "I said, 'We're even.'"

  "Why?"

  I took my bag and walked out, "Shouldn't you be very clear?"

  Yu Tian followed behind and grabbed me, "Lin Yue?"

  I pushed him away, "Yes."

  This time, Yu Tian didn't catch up with me. I walked a few steps and heard the heavy sound of the door closing behind me, followed by an even more intense crashing sound than before.

  I couldn't bear to confront him about his deception face-to-face, perhaps we had some good days together, I still believe he was once sincere with me, but now nothing can be salvaged.

  A line of words under a photo keeps flashing in my mind over and over again.

  It's been four years, how are you and our child in heaven?

  Four years, their child, Tian Tian.

  I never thought that Xiaoxing's blog was actually updated by someone else, and I never wondered why there were no shadows of her in so many scenic photos.

  I don't know what happened to her, but from that sentence I understood that four years ago, Xiaoxing and her child were gone.

  Four years later, Yu Tian still commemorated them in this way, deceiving me.

  I stumbled out of the building, my vision a blur, and didn't even realize I had bumped into someone until I saw Lin Yue's face as I apologized with a furrowed brow.

  His face didn't look good at all. Maybe because it was already dark and the light was too dim, I couldn't see his expression clearly, only vaguely making out that the corners of his mouth were downturned.

  "Come with me." He pinched my hand a little tighter.

  I got on Lin Yue's car and then saw Yu Tian chasing out.

  "Can you kiss me?"

  "Huh?"

  "Is it possible?"

  Lin Yue didn't respond, instead expressing it through action. This was the most insipid kiss I had ever experienced, neither of us seemed to have any temperature. I closed my eyes, stretched out my hands like vines entwining his body, feeling his youthful physique and powerful heartbeat. However, all this couldn't dissolve the pain in my heart.

  When we parted ways, Yu Tian was already out of sight, and Lin Yue didn't look at me again, directly starting the car.

  The car was almost home when Lin Yue suddenly turned around. I turned my face to look at him, "Where are we going?"

  "Open the room."

  "Park." I said as I reached for the seatbelt release.

  Lin Yue had no intention of stopping and instead accelerated the car.

  "I shouted loudly, 'Lin Yue, stop the car!'"

  "If you're not afraid of death, then jump down."