Chapter 2 (2)

  These strange stories were naturally told by Lin Dage himself, and it's hard to distinguish between truth and falsehood. Lin Dage studied in the Chinese department for two years, and his greatest realization was that those who are currently engaged in literature are both arrogant and ignorant. Ignorance is unavoidable, after all, we're a yellow-skinned people - what reason is there for us not to be ignorant? The most deadly thing is arrogance. Knowledge has no bounds, and arrogant words have no bounds either. When a group of arrogant people get together, it's all over - each one tries to outdo the others in their boasts. They say things like: "Who is Cao Juren? Ha! He's not even worth a single hair on my head!" "What's Chen Yinque? Just someone who recognizes a few more characters - does he have the learning of a true scholar?" "When I was in first grade, I read more books than Qian Zhongshu!" Lin Dage saw that his own arrogance was no match for the great arrogance of others, so he retreated and devoted himself to reading books. As it happens, he earned the appreciation of his professors. Two years ago, when Lin Yuxiang was in school, he would exchange letters with his older brother every two weeks.

  After entering the graduating class, his older brother finally had a girlfriend. It's said that she was exceptionally lovely and looked like Fan Xiaosu, so his older brother doted on her even more, putting his energy into reading women instead of books. This is another reason why women are like books. Throughout history, most learned men have been quite ugly. If there weren't really no girls who paid attention to them, who would calm down and read books?

  Lin's appearance was only one step away from being extremely ugly. But Fan Xiao admired his talent, ignored his looks and stayed with Lin. Overjoyed, he told Lin Yuxiang about it, and Lin Yuxiang told his parents. Lin's parents were surprised as if they had seen an unsold product being sold out, and they all contributed their wisdom, writing letters to offer suggestions. Lin's father was particularly enthusiastic, and in one sentence, he revealed the voice of men, saying "Seize the opportunity, take the initiative, cook raw rice into cooked rice, that is victory".

  He has been engaged in editing work for decades and has never written such a good article. He is overjoyed and cannot help but publish it.

  Lin Yuxiang's elder brother obviously didn't like his internal affairs being interfered with, and after receiving the letter from Lin's father and mother, he was very dissatisfied. He questioned Lin Yuxiang, who apologized and said it wasn't intentional. From then on, his older cousin stopped sending letters.

  Here is the translation:

  This unexpected letter contains the following: Little brother: Big brother has been very busy lately, and in recent days, he's been too indulgent, his studies have fallen behind, and now he's desperately trying to catch up on his science credits. Everyone at university is particularly diligent, especially those in the Chinese department. Big brother had thought of photocopying someone else's notes, but unexpectedly everyone's ideas were the same as big brother's! In such a large class, no one took notes, so they all had to swallow their pride and borrow from the professor.

  How's little brother doing? University life is extremely relaxing, in the Chinese department of this university, there are ten girls to one boy, and the boys are very popular, now they can't meet the demand, I wonder if little brother wants to ease the pressure? Alas! Just joking! Little brother is still in school, absolutely must not think about it! The beautiful women in the university are like the vast forests of China, once you enter the university, you'll know that there are countless beauties, and even ten years won't be enough to enjoy them all! Having a girlfriend is one of life's greatest joys. Big brother has excellent results in chasing girls, every time he takes a break, he goes to the dance hall with his "devilish wife" and dances non-stop, in the dance hall, lovers are everywhere, but only big brother and his wife are a perfect match, stunning everyone. After dancing, they go watch movies, living a happy life.

  Everyone praises your elder sister for being gentle and elegant, which shows her beauty.

  Alright, let's get down to business. Your high school entrance exam is approaching, this is a big deal, you must study hard and make the most of it. If you can't get into a good school, your life will be ruined. Nowadays, people only look at diplomas, not abilities, so you really need to work harder! If there's anything you don't understand, ask me, I'll help you figure it out.

  Get good grades! The first great romantic talent in Jiangnan, little brother, remember to keep this letter safe, it will be worth a lot of money later. Lin Yuxiang read it with great difficulty, and that ancient text was probably incomprehensible even to the ancients. Lin Yuxiang relied on his childhood memories to translate the unfamiliar words, but at first, he didn't understand what they meant, so he gave up. However, those ancient texts were like many diseases that could be fatal, lingering in Lin Yuxiang's body for a long time, waiting to break out. Lin Yuxiang had an outbreak in Ma Debao's class and felt like he had found a way to decipher the text. He took out the letter and looked at it carefully, almost dropping his eyeballs - it was true! His older brother had already done that thing with "fake declaration"! And he was complacent, thinking he had locked her heart away. Lin Yuxiang was worried for his brother, feeling like he was outdated. In the 90s, this trick wouldn't work; nowadays, love between men and women goes through three stages: kissing, sex, and then nothing. His brother was in grave danger! Lin Yuxiang quickly wrote a letter to salvage the situation, and after saving it, he also asked his brother for a poem: Older Brother: I didn't expect you to have "crossed the moral boundary", "walked with her" through the forbidden zone of love, enjoyed the illusion of happiness, and misunderstood the meaning of joy.

  I'm not talented, but I advise you, things are like this, your true love has been wasted more than half, you must be careful! Your letter is really hard to understand VeryMh, it almost made me look up the dictionary.

  One of my friends asked me for Song lyrics, I recommended you to her, you'd better send over a few lyrics quickly, so that I can show off.

  I studied very hard, in your northern words, it's "cisu", so bitter! The results are good, you can relax.

  Wishing you perfect match and harmony.

  Xuan Tu Ji Si. Fang Ze...... Biao Ge Kan Dao Xin, Xia Le Yi Tiao, Xiang Zhe Xiao Zi Gu Wen Ji Chu Guo Ran Li De, Zhe Me Yan Shen De Nei Rong Dou Po Yan Chu Lai Le, Hen Zi Ji Yi Shi Xing Qi, Ba Zhe Yang De Ji Mi Xie Le Shang Qu.

  In the several weeks that came and went, Yu Xiang had already broken up with Xiao Shou. During those days, his footprints were all over the university's bars. Breaking up without drinking is like not wiping your butt after taking a dump, it doesn't count as a complete merit. Only after getting drunk and waking up does it truly mark the end of the relationship.

  Yu Xiang's brother is a strong man, the kind of man whose sorrow after a lost love is like a high-end product from a developed Western country - only sold domestically and not exported. He puts his sorrows in his belly, waiting for stomach acid to turn great sadness into small, and small into nothing. Just as he had digested half of it, he received a letter from his younger brother, which brought back memories and made him sad. After drinking three bottles of beer, he fell asleep on campus, only to wake up the next morning with a beautiful sentence: "Where did I wake up after last night's wine?" Unfortunately, someone had used this phrase over 1,000 years ago - "Yang Liu Shore, residual moonlight".

  He was worried that his younger brother would write a poem, not out of affection, but because he was intimidated by the "otherwise..." and admired his brother's clever blackmail, not daring to slack off.

  Fortunately, Lin Yuxiang's extortion was poetry and not money. For literary people, what is lacking most is money, and what is least valuable is poetry. On normal days, no one reads it even if you write it, but now that you don't write it, someone has already ordered it. Extortion is simply a commission, why not? Yuxiang's older brother immediately sat up straight to think, but unexpectedly this inspiration was like a public bus, when you didn't need it, you saw one after another on the road, and when you really wanted to take it, you waited for half a day without even seeing its shadow. Helplessly, he flipped out his notes from previous lectures, but the things written there did not match the atmosphere. Like the four-character poem "XX University, starlight is hard to shine, walking closer, broken and shabby, ten teachers, nine idiots, and one with a mental disorder". There was also modern poetry: "The woman of the night is wildly running **the body in the sky is making jumps on an unknown chessboard in my line of sight". This poem had received praise from the department's genius. That genius had read too many modernist works, everything he couldn't understand, he praised to no end, and was now the editor-in-chief of the school poetry journal. It was pitiful for those poets who wrote poetry by flipping through dictionaries. They would use whatever word they came across, and also drag someone along to be a substitute for Bai Juyi's old frame, but that old frame had an opposite effect, specializing in not understanding. As soon as a poet wrote out a poem that the masses couldn't understand, he would rush to the poetry club to hand it in. The genius also wrote poetry, poetry that shook the world: "The God of the layers withdrew a pack of Snowy cigarettes and an electric heating pad from his buttocks, embracing them into a ball, trembling with fear **the winner of this class used shoelaces and belly buttons to tell lies! I'm going crazy!"

  These poems attracted many girls who came to ask for advice, and Yu Xiang's brother also squeezed in to listen to the teachings. After returning, he imitated that modern poem on his notebook, but a talented person is indeed a talented person, writing articles with Lu Xun's style, others can't learn from him no matter how hard they try.

  Yu Xiang's brother bit his pen and thought for half a day, but still didn't have enough skill; girls want poetry, and that poetry must be love poetry. The highest realm of love poetry is to make the affection seem like fish in a river, elusive and unpredictable, appearing and disappearing. The use of symbolic language should be as endless as Clinton's scandals. In the end, it gives people the feeling that having read it is the same as not having read it, but not having read it doesn't mean the same as having read it. This is what love poetry is all about.

  This kind of poem is usually written by girls, so Yu Xiang had to go and beg the talented girl in their department.

  That's why most of the talented women in history are ugly. Because God "never favors", it is said that if you give this, you will not give that, so women have a good figure and no talent, or they have talent but no good figure.

  In college, popular literary works mostly appear on desks and walls. Real literature on paper is unwanted except for love letters. The talented girl received a written invitation from Yu Xiang's older brother, had dinner with him, unfortunately got sentimental, stayed up all night writing, and finally produced a piece: "Youthful Years? Forget the past until it's all gone, wish to start anew. Misty rain surrounds the building, don't ask where this scene is, except for the Wu Shan clouds."

  Two hearts have experienced many vicissitudes and have been deeply in love. The autumn sky is cool, making me even more melancholic. My face is as pale as ice, the spring light is hard to retain, I've forgotten the red bean of my past thoughts.

  After finishing, although it feels like a big mess, I am still very satisfied. Among the literati, apart from homosexuals like Verlaine and heterosexuals like Li Mei, there are also narcissists like this talented woman who is more self-absorbed than anyone else. There are two types of people: one is extremely beautiful, but looks down on everyone else; the other is extremely ugly, but is looked down upon by everyone else. Both can only fall in love with themselves. The latter type of talented woman, the more she looks at this word, the better she feels, and she doesn't want to give it to anyone.

  Yu Xiang invited her to drink coffee again, that talented woman combined Chinese and Western literary history, and realized that since ancient times, there have been few perfect combinations of love and literature. After thinking for a long time, she finally wrote a poem generously, and also sent a "_Su Mu Zhe? Absolutely Broken Heart". The sorrowful thoughts are scattered, the empty mountain is inhabited, the old illness at the end of the sky, all dyed with autumn meaning. The fate has ended, the flying oath will not continue, near the cold winter, ask him if he can find 2 distant blue sky, lightly bid farewell, this love has gone, I wish you to remember more. I want to walk alone through the four seasons, sorrow and hatred continue, indifferent and without whispers.

  Two poems are extremely sad and touching, moving people's hearts. Rain Xiang obtained the poem from Cai Nü's hand, just like obtaining chastity from a beauty.

  He left without hesitation. In the smelly dormitory of boys, he thought that maybe it was not enough and wanted to ask someone to help him make up two more poems. The "genius with thoughts like a burst of urine" had recently been in luck, but no one knew where he was hiding, so he decided to write by himself, following the lyrics of songs. The talented boys in the dormitory listened to songs only by Zhao Chuan to establish their confidence in being handsome. With the lyrics at hand, they naturally sang: That year you decided to go north while I had to head south You crossed that small river while I climbed over this high mountain After many years everything cannot be found again I carry my own fatigue on my back Should we throw away the burden in our hearts and wipe away these years of tears? Don't forget the promise we made back then Hope that one day we can reunite and share our past experiences That year you insisted on taking the left road while I was determined to take the right one

  You walked into that vast city, and I... The emotions of parting are concentrated on the tip of my pen. Yu Xiang was moved to tears again, and pressed another song "Should Have Loved You From The Start", admiring the songwriter's talent. After sending it together with the previous one, his heart was finally at ease. That talented woman once invited him to discuss literature together, but he was too afraid to show up, and naturally, the matter of "discussing literature" was delayed indefinitely by him.

  Lin Yuxiang didn't actually mean to write poetry, just said it casually and forgot about it after sending the letter. These days are getting harder and harder, one day feels like a season, busy every day, feeling thinner by several pounds.

  Suddenly received a letter from my elder brother, and saw four poems, extremely surprised. After careful reading, I felt that they were slightly above average, but throwing them away would be a waste, so I put them in the drawer for future use and continued to do my homework.

  Nowadays, the exam is like Chinese football. Often when the parties involved are not worried, others are worried for them. Those who should work hard don't, and those who shouldn't work hard are working desperately.

  Lin Yuxiang himself didn't have a sense of urgency, subjectively speaking, but his parents were anxious to the point of being unable to sleep. They asked friends to pull strings from all sides, but when it came time to use them, they found that there weren't many and couldn't be used directly like a shortcut. Instead, they had to beat around the bush, chatting for half a day before finally bringing up the topic in a roundabout way, ideally like a dumpling that briefly surfaces and then sinks back down. Practicing this art of speaking was exhausting. Finally, Director Zhong relaxed his tone and said that Lin Yuxiang's character wasn't bad and his academic performance was relatively high, so he could be considered for priority admission with reduced scores. Of course, the final decision would still depend on the exam results. At this point, the exams were still far away, out of sight.

  Lin's mother gave up a night of mahjong, accompanied Yu Xiang to talk about her heart. She saw in the newspaper that before the exam, she wanted to give her child "maternal warmth". Lin's father couldn't do it, and the burden fell on Lin's mother's shoulders.

  That day, Lin Yuxiang went to the big bridge as usual after school to clear his mind. The sky was high and the river was wide, with a gentle breeze and light clouds. The cement handrail on the bridge from east to west was filled with words, and Yuxiang admired a section every day, feeling carefree and at ease.

  Today's section is a straightforward expression of emotions: I love you / I love you / Love you to the depths of my soul / Where there is only good air / Where inspiration has run out! And also heart-wrenching: Ten years later, we meet again at this place. It makes people suspect that he jumped off after finishing writing it. The three characters engraved on the bridgehead are dedicated to the big bridge, called "Lover's Bridge". Some people think it's too revealing, and next to it is also engraved "Sunset Bridge". Yu Xiang likes the name "Sunset Bridge" because it has the subtlety of old poetry. On the bridge, he can stay for no more than half an hour, looking at the dilapidated factories and leisurely farmhouses on both sides of the bridge, as well as the indifferent flowing water under the bridge, and the air filled with the sound of whistles, all intoxicated in the afterglow of the setting sun.

  Back home, there was no peace. Lin's mother had a wide range of hobbies, and apart from mahjong, she was especially skilled at private investigations, rummaging through bags and cabinets, and was proficient in all aspects. As her son, he was so scared that he put most things from his backpack into the classroom, fortunately, books were the least likely to be stolen, so his backpack was frighteningly flat.

  "Lin's mother scolded: 'How can there be so few books!' She then thought of the newspaper saying that gentleness is first, and adjusted her voice to be softer by three degrees. 'The exam is coming soon, you're not in a hurry at all.'"

  "No rush, there's still another semester!"

  "Ah! Not right! The ancients said, 'One inch of time is one inch of gold', meaning that every bit of time is worth a lot of money!" Fortunately, she had never seen Luo Tiancheng's famous sayings like "Wu Fei Mian Xing", otherwise she would have gone on for half a day.

  "I'm going to talk to you specially, to relieve your pressure!" Lin's mother's words were very profound. Firstly, "specially" implied that taking care of her son was an extra effort, like a charitable donation, and not something she did naturally; secondly, after talking, only the pressure would be relieved, but not Lin Yuxiang's body and mind. At that time, Lin Yuxiang didn't realize the depth of her words, but their implicit meaning had a lasting impact. After a while, he suddenly understood one layer and said discontentedly: "You even make talking to your son a 'special' thing?"

  "Alright, I won't argue with you anymore. I've bought some medicine for you."

  "Medicine number 9", "Listen, this medicine is good for you, it enhances intelligence and memory, and it's expensive! I have to win several rounds of mahjong to get my money back!" He said, pulling out a large bottle of blue pills, "Look, it's American Huihui".

  "Pfizer Pharmaceutical!" Lin Yuxiang replied. That factory, by chance, produced "Viagra", and instantly became famous worldwide. As a man, not knowing the origin of "Viagra" is a sin.

  "What character is it?" Lin Mu hesitated and asked.

  "'Rui'! Let me take a look!" Lin Yuxiang disdainfully took over the paper from his mother, and after taking a glance, he was shocked. It was actually "Hui Rui Pharmaceutical Factory". He thought Hui Rui had produced fake medicine and was being shut down, so they had to change their name. After a closer look, he shouted: "Fake medicine!"

  "Nonsense! Mom got it from a friend, how could it be fake medicine? Are you out of your mind?"

  "Mom, look, this one doesn't have a barcode, and this one's color has faded, and this one...and that one..." Yuxiang enumerated them like treasures.

  After countless purchases of counterfeit goods, he finally became a master in identifying and cracking down on counterfeits.

  "It's not that I won't, it's just that time has passed! Look, there are instructions and a thank-you letter inside. Look at the thank-you letter." Lin's mother pulled out a feedback form with the following content:

  "To the comrades of Guangdong Province Pan Mr. Pfizer Pharmaceutical Factory,

  I am a person with poor memory, often forgetting things after reading or hearing them. This problem has made my friends alienate me, and I have been in great pain, almost losing all my friends.

  Suddenly, good news came from heaven! I learned about the "Deep Sea Memory Treasure" rich in marine biological DH from a friend. With a try-it-out attitude, I purchased two boxes of your product and went back to eat them. After about one course of treatment, it was indeed effective. Now I can remember everything at a glance, and my memory has improved significantly compared to before. Generally, after reading an article twice, I can recite it."

  Thank you to your factory for providing me with such good medicine, which has allowed me to feel warmth again. I am writing this letter to express my gratitude to your factory. May more people have good memories through the medicine provided by your factory. Nowadays, there are few writings that use such words and meanings. Although there were many mistakes, neither of us noticed them, and we were half-believing and half-doubting.

  Lin's mother poured medicine for her son. The medicine had been with people for a long time and had also acquired the habits of humans, each grain was extremely smooth.

  It's quite difficult to pour out the right amount. Lin Mu tilted the medicine bottle slightly, her hand shaking a few times, but although the medicine was smooth on the outside, it was surprisingly cohesive inside and refused to come out no matter how hard she tried.

  Mrs. Lin was furious and made a big mistake, causing the pills to scatter all over the table. She was so angry and heartbroken that she slapped the table and surrounded the pills. The "Art of War" by Sun Tzu says that to surround the enemy, you need ten times more troops, but Mrs. Lin did the opposite, using one to surround ten, thus overturning this theory. The "Fire Attack" chapter also says that a general should not fight because of his own anger, which was also broken by Mrs. Lin. She carefully picked up the pills and put them back in the bottle, leaving two for Yu Xiang to take.

  That small pill seemed heavy, but as soon as it touched the water, it violently expanded and floated on top. Lin Yuxiang had not anticipated this sudden turn of events, and he choked on a mouthful of water, with the pill stuck in his throat, unable to swallow no matter how hard he tried. After swallowing several more mouthfuls of water, it still remained stuck, causing him to feel unbearably distressed and short of breath.

  Lin Yuxiang had to fight with the medicine before fighting with the illness. Since he couldn't outsmart it, he could only be brave and drink water fiercely. Finally, he felt a genuine "stone in his heart falling to the ground". Lin Yuxiang's chest suddenly opened up, and he scolded the medicine for being of poor quality. His mother told him to swallow another one, but he was too scared. His mother made a gesture as if she was about to get angry, and Lin Yuxiang thought his mother had already lost her temper and wouldn't do it again. He didn't understand that menopausal women have a lot of anger, just like menopausal men have many affairs. His mother scolded him loudly: "I bought it for you to eat, but you won't eat it, and you're still angry with me? I'm so angry I could die!"