Chapter Eighty-Seven: Qin Ke's Lack of Confidence

  The car hadn't gone far when the sky started dripping with raindrops, and soon it turned into a heavy downpour. I had to slow down my driving speed, so what was originally a 10-minute drive took almost 20 minutes. When I arrived at the train station, there was less than 1 minute left before Qin Ke's train arrived. After parking the car, I hastily opened the door and ran towards the exit in the heavy rain.

  "Attention all passengers waiting at the station, the original xxx train from Shanghai to Harbin will be delayed by 7 minutes...". When I was still standing foolishly in the rain at the exit wondering why the train hadn't arrived yet, the slow broadcast of the train station made me realize how silly I looked. Considering it's only 7 minutes and not 70 minutes, I decided to grit my teeth and continue waiting in the rain.

  A silly boy with a contradictory heart standing in the heavy rain waiting for someone else's 7 minutes feels far from as short as 7 minutes would normally feel, which has been well explained in Einstein's theory of relativity.

  "Attention please, friends who have come to pick up passengers. The xxx train from Shanghai to Harbin is about to arrive..." The broadcaster finally spoke out the words we most wanted to hear at this moment, in a tone that seemed reluctant and had been consistent for many years, amidst the complaints and curses of many people waiting to pick up passengers.

  The crowd began to surge out of the station, and I stretched my neck to search for Qin Ke Yi's figure in the sea of people, occasionally wiping away rainwater that had invaded my eyes. Just as the crowd was thinning out and Qin Ke Yi still hadn't appeared, I started to wonder if she hadn't boarded the train due to some reason or if I had once again fallen into her trap because of my recent emotional turmoil. But then a familiar umbrella appeared in my line of sight - it was a gift we had received when shopping at a department store in Korea, and Qin Ke Yi had loved the unusual patterns printed on it. So I wiped away the rainwater that had invaded my eyes again to get a clearer look at the person under the umbrella. Perhaps our heart connection kicked in at this moment, as Qin Ke Yi also happened to lift her head from under the umbrella, and our gazes collided accurately.

  Although we were surrounded by a sea of people, the passengers rushing to get off the train seemed to have ignored the existence of Qin Ke Yi and me. At that moment, I felt like Qin Ke Yi and I had formed an isolated space from others, as if nothing around us mattered, and all the people passing by didn't exist. The two of us just stood there silently, looking at each other, and although it was only for a few brief seconds, our complex gazes conveyed the concerns we had for each other.

  After a brief but seemingly long few seconds in the world of Qin Ke Yi and me, Qin Ke Yi dragged her suitcase and ran towards me with an umbrella. The initial meaning of this action was concern for me being drenched in the heavy rain, which made my heart feel a little warmth in these extremely cold days. At that moment, I really hoped that Qin Ke Yi's next move would be to rush into my arms, give me a passionate hug, and cry loudly in my embrace. This kind of hug and tears would make me forget all the resentment I had towards her and our previous unpleasantness. However, the gap between expectation and reality is often ruthless. Qin Ke Yi ran to my side, opened the umbrella over my head, but didn't show any intention of continuing with the actions I had hoped for. Instead, she just stood under the umbrella with me, continuing our staring contest from earlier, only this time with a closer distance, allowing me to read more clearly the information revealed in Qin Ke Yi's eyes.

  "How did you know I was coming back today..." Qin Ke's tone of inquiry was somewhat downcast, which also affected the atmosphere of our subsequent conversation.

  "Guo Cheng can't make it... so he asked me to come instead... let's get in the car!" I said somewhat seriously to Qin Ke, and reached out to take the suitcase she was holding, walking with her towards Zhang Wei's car.

  After putting Qin Ke Yi's suitcase in the trunk, Qin Ke Yi and I got into the car. Through the rearview mirror, I realized how bedraggled I looked from being drenched in the heavy rain. At this moment, Qin Ke Yi silently handed me a pack of tissues. I took them and wiped my face before starting the car...

  On the way back, we remained silent. Qin Ke Yi kept looking out of the window, while I occasionally glanced at her through the rearview mirror. To avoid an awkward atmosphere between us, I turned on the car radio and listened to the songs playing, but until we entered our residential area, I didn't even notice what songs were being played. When I stopped the car in front of our building, I found that Qin Ke Yi had fallen asleep, her chest rising and falling regularly as she leaned quietly against the backrest. For some reason, I was reluctant to wake her up, hoping she would sleep on while I sat there watching her quietly, perhaps worried that opportunities for such peaceful moments with her might be scarce.

  So I quietly decided in my heart to wake her up after five minutes, and began to calculate one second at a time in my complicated mood. When we were together before, I don't know how many five-minute periods we experienced, but never like now, did I realize that five minutes was so precious and short...

  "The song below is recommended by DJ to all listeners, and the DJ himself likes it very much. Now let's share it with everyone together, a "At Least I Got Up Earlier Than You" for everyone, hoping you like it..." Hearing the DJ's words on the radio made me subconsciously stop tidying up Qin Ke's slightly messy hair and start paying attention to the content being played on the radio. At this time, the prelude of the song began to sound, but I didn't have the feeling of listening to this song as before, and even started to feel a little disgusted, maybe it was some memories brought by this song that made my already terrible mood worse, so I reached out and turned off the radio.

  "Why aren't you listening......" Qin Ke suddenly asked me with his eyes closed, without any warning.

  "Are... you awake?"

  "I haven't slept either..." Qin Ke slowly opened his eyes and said to me.

  "I thought you... fell asleep..." I said with a hint of guilt, recalling how Qin Ke hadn't been sleeping when I helped her tidy up her hair earlier.

  "Why didn't you continue listening? Why did you turn it off?" Qin Ke repeated the question above.

  "I'm afraid of waking you up."

  "Is it? Isn't there another reason?"

  "Then trouble you to remind me what else is there?" I said somewhat impatiently to Qin Ke Yi.

  "For example, because of this song, I remembered some unpleasant memories... " Qin Ke Yi said calmly to me, but after hearing it, I couldn't be as calm as her. I started staring at Qin Ke Yi silently, not knowing what to say.

  "Kang Jian... to be honest... have you ever loved me?" Qin Ke Yi suddenly asked me after we had both been silent for a long time. Facing Qin Ke Yi's question, I looked at her with some anger, but didn't know how to respond. I didn't know if she was asking out of habit as a woman in a quarrel with a man, or if it was Qin Ke Yi's true thoughts.

  "I thought you hadn't been resting well these past few days and were talking nonsense. Now you're still asking me such questions, don't you think you're being stupid? Even a fool should be able to tell if I really love you or not!" I said with some agitation.

  "What about Tong Chen? Have you not forgotten her yet? Or do you love someone else?" Hearing Tong Chen's name from Qin Ke's mouth made me completely lose the desire to get angry, and instead I started to feel surprised. In my impression, I seemed to have never mentioned anything about me and Tong Chen to her, nor had I ever said Tong Chen's name, and she had never asked either. But today, not only did she know about Tong Chen, but also actively asked me such a question, which didn't seem to fit her character, making me unable to help but feel puzzled about what she was going to say next.

  "Did it take you so long to think about it? This question seems like someone asked before." Qin Ke's another inquiry interrupted my thoughts.

  "How did you know Tong Chen? Was it Zhao Lijia who told you?"

  "It wasn't all... Do you remember the day you forgot to log off QQ and left? After you left, I accidentally saw your long-term chat records with a certain close online friend of yours... Later, Zhao Lijia also mentioned some things about you and her..."

  "It seems you've known about those things from before for a long time..."

  "Yes... I knew it all along, but at that time, I thought it didn't matter and even felt a little proud because after all, it was your past, and you already belonged to me. Being with you was so happy, even if I could feel from your chat records with her that you used to love her and now seem to have some lingering feelings for her. After getting over my own anger, I tried to forget about these things and not bring them up with you. I also made an effort not to let these things affect us.

  Until the day we had a fight on the streets of Korea, I sat on the hotel bed crying, thinking about your chat content with that net friend. Suddenly, I felt very insecure, doubting whether you would so easily give up that past love for me. I kept asking myself, if it wasn't for me appearing at the time when you and Tong Chen had a falling out, if there was no Tong Chen, would you still love me? Maybe I'm just a comfort zone for you to escape to...

  So I decided to take some time alone, let everyone think about what's going on between us. Indeed, as your text message said, we need to reflect."

  "You're overthinking... The issue between Tong Chen and me has been resolved long ago, let alone she's already married now... Your worries are meaningless. I won't be living in memories forever, since I've decided to be with you, it means I've put everything about her behind me."

  "Is that so? Give me your phone?" Qin Ke Yi said, stretching out her hand towards me. I was perplexed by her actions, but still hesitated for a moment before taking out my phone and handing it over to her. After Qin Ke Yi took it, she pressed a few buttons, and the ringtone of "At Least I'm Walking Faster Than You" started playing from the phone. Upon hearing this song, Qin Ke Yi kept staring at me until the ringtone finished...