John and Mary Smith strolled along a lake where they first met years ago.

  “Look, Mary. Litter is everywhere. Why doesn’t anyone complain?”

  “Oh, John, you’re such a pessimist today.”

  “Come on, Mary, don’t you see what’s happening?”

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  She shook her head.

  “Mary, are you wearing those contacts again? What do you see?”

  “It’s so beautiful, John. Sparkling water, cute ducklings, and a rainbow!”

  “For how long?” John stared into her eyes.

  “Since we first met, honey. They breathe and never need changing.”

  “Wait! What? Can you take them off?”

  “Sure, alright … Oh John, you’ve gained so much weight!”