“How are you? ––––––––––––––––––– Brought you some water.”

  Ice.

  “I wanted to bring fresh bandages as well –––––––––They’d notice though.

  Sorry I didn’t come yesterday. All lot of shit happened. ––– Well mostly Kara. But what’s new?”

  –

  “You don’t gotta worry about him though. He’ll be fine. I’m taking care of him. ––––––––– Doesn’t matter if he doesn’t want me to.”

  –

  “You’re missing a lot of shit. I’d love to say miss out but… eh. The mansion’s always filled with guests now. Thanks to your miracle. At least it was before. Hard to tell now, but I guess it still is. The master’s put up a silver door and now everyone’s stuck. Did I tell you that? ––––––––––––– I’m still upstairs sometimes, because of all the rho-after events the master’s been taking me to, but the others…”

  –

  “I got to try haerrae salae. It’s good! Really good! I swear, with food like that, I get why people like eating. ––– Also, the masters are nice? Polite questions, smiles and everything.”

  –

  “They’re not here for me though… Inevitably the conversation is steered to your fight, your recovery, when you’ll be able to attend instead.”

  –

  “With shit like this, it’s hard to not look down on them sometimes, you know? I shouldn’t. I know. It’s just – they’re so willfully ignorant sometimes ––– I mean they saw the fight. Hell, they’re the reason for the fight.”

  –

  “They’re not the reason you here though… I want to believe it had nothing to do which me either. – I mean, it can’t, can it? It’s not like any of us can change into a phenix with the help of a little pep talk. …. But. ––––––––––––––– I’m sorry. I thought I would help. –––––– How should I know you’d take it so literal? ––– Sorry. That sounds like I’m blaming you. It’s just… Kara and I had a fight. He said he wishes it was me in here instead….and all I could think is “me too”.

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  –

  “Shit, that’s pathetic” Pathetic.

  A chuckle.

  “Can I tell you something? ––––– I thought putting Kara in your care was dumb idea. Not to doubt your abilities, just – you hadn’t mentored in a while. And the last few times, you weren’t very… involved. And having another wildling down here – it’s dangerous. And I mean, you were barely controlling the kid.”

  A chuckle.

  “Now I wonder how you even managed that much. Let alone keep the kid alive.” Alive.

  –

  “I swear by the protector, I actually had to knock the kid out cold to stop em from breaking down this door and joining you. Alinta told the master in hopes of getting him “removed”. Instead, the master installed that door and trapped us all with him.”

  –

  “Can’t blame her though. –––––––––––––– After what happened to Riella. ––––– The walls are thick. But not thick enough. I guess no need to remind you. ––––– It’s hard to sleep. Or talk over it –––––––– Noone has been great at dealing with it. For most, the memories are still too fresh. And Kara… well you know him.”

  –

  “I told him to visit as well –– But he doesn’t want to. Sais there’s no reason to. I think he’s just scared it’ll destroy his memory of you as this unshakable anchor. He’s been clinging to that image, trying to “live up to it”.

  –

  –

  –

  “I guess I was doing the same… treating you like this granite pillar, I mean. Throwing my problems at you, trying to move you, to help, but in in the end I knew, nothing would ever really dislodge you. –––– Until it did…”

  –

  “I miss you…This… It’s like grieving without a corpse.”