A doll lies in the sand, cracked and blood smeared. A woman is playing with its leaking remains.

  “Mom”, it cries out.

  “Get up!”, a mother of a daughter used to yell. “Get up!”, the mother is yelling now, “Get up and fight!”

  The mother hadn’t always been yelling. Mostly she had been silent, eyes hollow, mind somewhere no one else could reach. She had forgotten about the daughter then, and the daughter had let her. Very seldom, when the hunt had been good and the dreams kind, the mother had hugged the daughter and told of a world long gone.

  “What do you know of phenixes?”, she had asked on one such night.

  “Daddy is one of them now”

  “Yes- Have you ever wondered, why only we can transform?”

  “…no”

  “Why must you be so much like me and nothing like him?”

  “…so..rry”

  “Your father used to talk about them, said they’re the reason we can do this”, her hand grows claws, “Do you want to know what he told me?”

  The girl had nodded. Eyes big.

  When her mother continued, her voice had been hushed. She was repeating sacred words after all, made holy merely by them having left his lips first: “Long before the crust of the world had known water, had known trees or mortal life, birds of fire roamed the sky. Time passed; the world changed, as out of singularity grew diversity. And so too, the birds of fire leaned to change, losing one unending life to gain a thousand finite ones.”

  “…”

  “We’re all that’s left of them,” the mother had cupped the daughter's face, “So we’re not allowed to die. No matter what.”

  The doll is tossed to the ground. Again, and again. Its limbs flail, forced by invisible strings to go thru the motions of defending itself. It doesn’t matter: the shell continues to crack all the same. “FIGHT!”, the woman shaking the doll screams, “YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! ITS NOT FAIR!” “FIGHT!”, the mother is yelling, “I did not die for this!”

  My head is pounding. My thoughts are slurring. I cannot open my eyes.

  The woman strikes the doll down, climbs on top of it. Is on top of it. He’s on top of it. They’re on top of it. Peeling arms from where they might shield, pinning legs and freezing its body in place. They claw at its face, from cheek to throat. From up here you can see the skull beneath its shattered mask.

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  fight.

  Blinding light tinges the arena in red. It’s a fitting color. Niilan’s command carves into the dolls body, into my soul, pulls the strings taut. The doll is flung at her opponent. More in surprise then fear, Aisha jumps back. Another swipe, another jump.

  enough. you may move yourself.

  The crimson light fades. The strings moving me fade. I open my eyes.

  First, I feel pain. It crashes down on me like an avalanche. The numb sensations of someone else’s doll get replaced with my nerve endings of flesh and blood. I can hardly breath, my throat feels like it’s been crushed, the wound in my chest is pounding as all over cuts, bits and bruises burn. Tears and sweat are pooling in the crevices Aisha’s claws have left on my face, their salt igniting what little receptor not yet set ablaze.

  After physical anguish follows the mental one: Old memories are dragged up from places I believed smothered and gone. I feel all the woman has endured, the girl, the daughter, the doll, as my mind tries and fails to accept their experiences as mine.

  I break.

  Or maybe I heal.

  I think I’m laughing. Perhaps I’m merely suffocating. My body has toppled over. Aisha rams her knee into my chest. “Fight!”, she screams. “Grab it! Fight! You owe it to me!”, my mother screams.

  “No.”

  What did you just say?!

  “Why should I fight? I never wanted this! All I learned from you is how to hate the life YOU cursed me with!”

  Don’t you DARE!

  “What are you on about?”, Aisha narrows her eyes in annoyance, “Doesn’t matter I guess. I’m done with this farce. I must admit, I expected mo-” I grab her face, claws digging into flesh: “Fuck! You!” The crowed is screaming. “Fuck all of you!” I think I’m screaming. It’s hard to tell over my boiling blood. Aisha skin begins to blacken. I think she’s screaming too. Kill. My claws close. She manages to transform and slip free before I can crush her skull. KILL! the rage demands, smoothering the pleas of a broken body.

  Flames burst from my skin; wings from my back as I chase Aisha into the air. The sand has begun to melt. There’s no remorse as I leave behind the ashes of my life; only hate and desire for retribution.

  The humans behind their flimsy cages are cheering. “A Phoenix”, the announcer exclaims, “Honored Citizens; We are witnessing the impossible!”

  Aisha and I clash, her claws digging into my chest. Flames erupt from where they break skin. I tear into her. Kill. Sand turns to glass. Her flesh is charring. She screeches, tries to tear free. I pull her back into our embrace. She’s crying. The tears evaporate before they can touch molten ground. She tries to speak but cannot stop screaming long enough to do so. Her agony fuels the flames until her feathers catch fire and set her whole body ablaze. Her eyes are burning. All of them. I dig in further; consume what makes her her so that both of us may cease to exist today.

  She’s dead. Charred remains fall apart in my grasp but do nothing to quell the rage.

  The cheers grow louder, drums crescendo, white fabric strips are thrown in air. I look like snow, for but a moment, before they go up in flame. “Honored citizens, 549! Victor of the 94th Ro Tournaments.”, the announcement rings out: “What a spectacle!” Chains raddle. The door into the tower opens. “The cities, no the countries, gratitude goes out to the council and Niilan, son of Kieran!” Backlit by flickering torchlight the silhouette of a men emerges from the darkness of the waiting chamber. “Enjoy the victory parade outside whilst our newest victor is patched up. And as ever, may Silawells glory shine as today Rho has sho-“

  I dive towards Niilan, shrink and pass thru the exit. He stands there, arms outstretched: “You did it! I-“ Kill. I obey.

  halt!

  Sorry for vanishing without any notice. Stuff happened and I didn't want to rush this chapter. But it's here and I'm back in the land of the living. The next two chapters are almost done as well so we can look forward to weekly uploads again.