--
I feel stuck just because it was me staring back at me that day, I am here and I am safe, I wasn't the best person to exist and as I sit here having won. I MEAN I WON!! And yet my strings are attached to the same walls that held a picture right above the bed at the bedframe. Righty and Lefty are asking for guidance how do I tell them I have no plan. Do they even know she died, do I even know why, maybe she couldn't do what I asked of her. Their companionship was meant to be a joke, and yet I did nothing by winning, I won but nobody cared enough about my victory ... did I really win then?
She would sit there at that corner reading a book or two, she liked horror and for being a damsel she was vocal too. I spoiled her, made her food and made her a glutton. She wanted to lose weight but slowly I even stopped drinking, and so...
--
And so he sat there worried over nothing. Nobody cared enough about nothing like he did, but even I could tell he was starting to get tired of the act. When he wasn't working he was telling tall tales, like how he sailed the seven seas in his dreams reaching each end, that the reason the earth had an edge was to ward off the scared few. He made tea, he used crushed up grains of wood that gave it that oakey flavor. While it rained, it was good days when he wasn't drunk.
"So you plannin on something speciall for us", I said.
"Nothing in particular, I was just planning on getting rich and go from there", he said.
"Have you ever even noticed a girl walk passed you, or do you just try to act cool", I said as he looked away.
"I don't need an education to know you'd kill me if I did that", he said.
"Look at me when we're talking", I said moving his chin.
"Would you believe me if I said I could see what you can't see", he said.
"Nobody said you couldn't look at me all you wanted, don't I look nice ... just for you", I said.
"Wouldn't you look nicer with a little less", he said coming closer.
--
That first kiss was speciall and I don't even know what it was I was feeling, like a stomach filled with butterflies. Even if I never tried personally to endulge it wasn't the first time I felt trapped in my own mind. The rise in alcohol, the bodies piling up all I ever did was ignore until it fit my pocket. But deep down I knew something bad would happen, especially if she didn't have a way to protect herself from danger. So I taught her...
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--
Then as we were making way closer and closer to the deadline where we were close to winning it big, a part of me didn't want to keep doing this anymore. Righty and Lefty decerved as much of a life like me and him, but the days he would show up drunk were more often. The doors open, the windows are shut and as I enter I pray he isn't sitting there on his bed drunk. When he's drunk he's always angry about something, last time he had a resenting look at me like as if I resembled his hatred for something. As he smashes the bottle by throwing it near me I know today was the day of me getting bruises. He punches me all he likes, I get a black eye and as I develop a black eye I am afraid to show Lefty and Righty both in case not another fight begins. Deep down I know he can be saved, he is the nicest one I've had until now. I don't even work.
--
My name's Max, but the people who know me call me Lefty. If I don't do this atleast once even I'll forget what my birth name was, Righty is always with me, even though we met out of bad situation he makes things work. I don't see what she sees in him and everytime she's beaten up a part of me wants to pull the trigger on him. I'm not watching a leader, but a kid playing pretend without consequence. The days she has a black eye and crying seem to become more and more, I asked to live with the guy with my right hand man. But he denied, and since he looked tired and confused I let it go, I learned to pick up the gun because of him so that I could shoot him if needed be.
--
He trained me the days he was nice. He said he wouldn't drink anymore, and since then he has meant it, the people that are infected wander the streets and as they wander into specific areas boom a well placed big axe cuts them like a zombie virus. I really want this to be over, I can't see people die over and over like that. But as I was going home on a bit of a darker day, I was walking alone home and as a group of guys came to mug me, then barate me then do worse. I couldn't see any other way, nobody was willing to help, and nobody was near me. It was three guys tugging, then putting a knife around my neck, trying to take my shirt off I shot them until one of them was running away. My mind was screaming what did you do, as I was shaken up, I never wanted to be a murderer.
--
We were on our way to see if he knows the wereabouts of Lauraline, we hadn't seen her in a while and hoped not the inevitable had happened. Righty was afraid for everything that could go wrong, I mean we are murderers, having killed so many innocents, I did most of it making me feel superior like nobody can say no to me for what I can and will maybe end up doing. But Righty convinced me out of it. I was getting angry that was it, so be calm and be civil.
--
I sat there in my room and having looked at a mirror knew what was about to go down. I drank myself to exhaustion. And as the door was banging from the front of my bed. I got up and as I bumped into every nook and craney I opened the door drunk, that once calm demeanour of Lefty's was no punching me down asking me what I did. "I didn't do anything", I responded over and over with. I couldn't fight back even if I wanted too, I was too sad too. He threw me against the walls again and again.
"You better become the man I want you to be or your dead, I have a gun and I will shoot myself, you never wanted to change because you didn't have something to lose, now you do and Righty can't stop me", he said as Righty was trying his hardest to get away the gun before two sober and a drunk man become one drunk one sober. They laid there all of em. Fin.
