3.

  Red Army is a hard-hitting Wrexham AFC podcast, unique in that club's media ecosystem since criticism of Ryan Reynolds is permitted. The podcast has a Discord chat server open to its Patreon supporters. One of the channels on the server is called LALAC, a phrase which is never explained to newbies because if you don't know what it means, you shouldn't be there.

  The channel is as old as the podcast, but these extracts only go back to the start of the 2025/2026 transfer window.

  ***

  Wednesday, July 2

  Stoop

  I've just seen who that mob are trying to sign so I'm just here to add to my theory that Max SexPest brings one hottie into his fold every four months or so.

  For the women, my order goes like this: Their striker Angel (hallelujah); Best's media trainer at Darlington (Miss Fox, Princess of the Pencil Skirt); the Chester physio (The Divine Ponytail); the board member who financed the women's team and started an agency (REM=Rapidly Erect Member); the head of marketing (Brooke FiveStar, bit too perfect); his girlfriend (fit but bad taste); his girlfriend's lawyer friend who looks like Julia Roberts (Eat, Pray, Lust); his scout (Fleur Me to the Moon).

  The objectively attractive men, in no particular order: Henri Lyons; the Texan Wrexham reject; Wayward Hayward; now this Australian lad.

  TopPoppy

  What the hell did I just read? Are you in the right Discord mate? This is for Wrexham fans.

  CrunchyAbs

  Yeah, totally. And by the way, we don't objectify women around here. But link me to your photo collection.

  BeardedWonderwall

  On the topic of that particular player...

  Chester have got promoted, got some TV money, and they're going to break their transfer record for the Aussie lad. That new record? You might want to sit down for this. Two hundred and fifty thousand pounds. What we were paying for backups in our National League days. Fuck me they're such a tin pot little club. I actually feel bad coming in this channel these days; it's like laughing at a special needs class you see on a day out at a beach. It's raining, they've got ice cream all down their tops, but it's the best day of their year.

  SummerhillBill

  Our women's team manager is hotter than any of the women in that list. She's a Catherine Zeta Jones regen and she's the last Wrexham manager to beat a Jester team, plus the only one who's ever beat Max Best.

  BeardedWonderwall

  Was that the match he threw a tantrum because his deaf girl got booked coz she didn't hear the whistle? Didn't we beat him when he was Grimsby manager?

  SummerhillBill

  No it was 4-all. Here's a