A good night’s sleep helped make things better with all of us.

  Holly was back to being both agreeable and helpful. Billie didn’t seem to hold a grudge against Khanna, which was good, and Khanna didn’t seem to care about what the other women said or did. At least she wasn’t actively cursing them.

  Rowing out to San Submerged was far easier in the rowboat since I could sit on the back seat and work two oars in oarlocks at the same time. My chest, shoulders, and traps glowed brightly, and it was kind of cool seeing which muscles were engaged by rowing.

  We’d waited until the fog burned off, and the sky was clear and blue. The sea itself was murky, thanks to the Ravana Storm that had dropped New Ireland into K’Shaul, but Opal didn’t detect any shark creatures.

  We oared quickly up to the first building.

  I reminded the girls of what we were looking for. “I’d like to see if we can find any guns, but at the top of my list are backpacks for us. It’s going to be a long trip to the Foiros Waystation, and we should have plenty of gear. The baskets are great, Professor, but water bottles would be better. Along those lines, cooking utensils would be ideal. And while the Twankinians have kept us supplied with processed sugar, I’d really like to find some spices. Which brings up the subject of salt. If we had a pot, we could boil the seawater to get salt, which we could use to flavor our meat as well as use to preserve our meat.”

  “Stop saying the word ‘meat’ so much.” Billie was on the bow, obviously enjoying the sun. “I would love to find some garlic salt. My mom basically sprinkled garlic salt on everything. We had the big Costco shaker. I would love to find a Costco.”

  Holly seemed a little on edge. “It is doubtful that we’d find a big box store in downtown San Francisco. At least not one that we could access above the water.”

  I worked the oars and lined us up with the building closest to us. “That’s the thing, Holly. It’s not our version of San Franscisco. It not only comes from a different timeline, it comes from a different universe. We really don’t know what we’ll find there.”

  The professor gave me a little smile. “If I am to be honest with you, Sid Marshall, as I endeavor to be, my number one priority is coffee. If we could find coffee, it would make the whole trip worth it. We can synthesize any number of things, but coffee does not make that list.”

  “You’re not wrong.” I got down to business. “Okay, guys. It’s go time. I’ll go first, then Billie and Holly, and then Khanna will take the rear guard. Okay? We don’t have time for much discussion inside there. I’m calling the shots.”

  “Sir, yes, sir!” Billie barked. “You are the king, and we are your loyal subjects. You’re the general, and I’m just your hot soldier. Do we need to sign some kind of form for you and me to be together? Like a love contract?”

  “Ms. Kidd,” Holly said stiffly. “I’m right here. I know that you and Sid have a new understanding, but you do not need to flaunt it.”

  I expected a fight. But Billie hadn’t liked Khanna talking about how much she loved me, and it seemed the professor was just as sensitive. Billie realized that.

  “Sorry, Professor,” the cheerleader said. “Should I tie us off?”

  There was an open window, and near it was a desk just inside.

  It was odd, staring down into the murky water, knowing there might be fifty stories underneath the surface.

  “I got it,” I said.

  After securing the oars, I made my way across the boat, through the window, and I tied our rowboat to the desk. It was an office, and thanks to the glow of my survival suit, I had plenty of light.

  “Hey, Opal, is there anything in here that we might have to worry about?”

  There are any number of biological entities, including birds, insects, and sea creatures. This unit is scanning and will continue to scan and compile data on the possible lethal threats any of the biological entities might pose to HOSTNAME: Sid Marshall and his companions.

  Why didn’t that make me feel any better? At least there was nothing trying to rip me apart at that moment. The floor was covered in six inches of dirty water, but underneath I could feel spongey carpet. I was glad I was wearing boots.

  “Can we come in?” Billie called to me.

  I didn’t answer. My eyes went to a calendar, where there was a picture of some guy with a weird duck-like nose and mutton chops. Wait. Mutton chops? Then I noticed the date on the calendar. January of 1973.

  “Holy shit,” I whispered.

  I was standing in the middle of a room that had a ton of desks with inboxes and typewriters on them. Actual typewriters. Going to the calendar, I saw that it was Richard M. Nixon, and his inauguration was on January 20. I had to wonder if Watergate had happened on that Earth and in that timestream.

  “Sid!” Billie wailed. “You’re freaking us out!”

  “I’m freaking out!” I yelled back to her. “It’s 1973.”

  “What?”

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  I saw a big sign on the wall, stained with mold and half-covered in seaweed. The corporate logo for Ameritronics had two little robot people looking out from the “Os”. One was a girl robot because she had a little pink ribbon on her head.

  “Mr. Marshall,” Holly called to me. “Is it safe for us to enter?”

  “Yes. I think so.”

  Then I saw the skeletons floating in the water against the wall. Ratty, half-burned clothes covered the bones, which had been picked clean. How long had the bones been in the water?

  I was about to ask Opal when Billie entered. She made a face. “Ew. It smells. And what in the fuck is Ameritronics?” She gripped Khanna’s long, stone spear.

  Holly followed her. Khanna came next. The Huntress had an arrow knocked in her bow. She didn’t have many arrows left in her quiver.

  Holly lifted a sheet of relatively dry paper. “It seems Ameritronics was a very successful electronics company in the 1970s, specializing in, and I quote, “consumer computing products including the award-winning “Number Puncher” personal computer. Would you like to know the tagline?”

  That was when I noticed the boy robot in the logo had boxing gloves on.

  “Sure, Professor,” Billie answered.

  “Punch your data right between the eyes. Report on your progress and don’t get knocked out by your competition.”

  “Wordy,” Billie whispered.

  Khanna’s eyes were wide. “Many machines. Are they useful, Sid Marshall?”

  “Not unless we need to take a memo.”

  I slogged my way forward and found the breakroom. Behind me was the boss’s office. Ahead of me looked like the door into the hallway.

  “Wait! Sid!” Billie rushed forward. “Don’t leave us behind. This place is creepy as fuck. Did you notice the skeletons? I noticed the skeletons.”

  “And their singed clothes,” Holly muttered. “Was there a fire? Or did something burn them?”

  We hustled into the breakroom. It was your typical refrigerator, sink, and counter deal. A stove with an oven was against the wall. All the appliances were a very dark avocado green. It went with the orange lightshade over a flowery orange Formica table and matching chairs.

  The cupboards were a lighter shade of green. The wallpaper was a mixture of green, orange, and brown stripes. The whole place was retro and hideous, as hideous as Nixon with sideburns.

  On the counter was a coffee maker (Master Coffee X-15 to be precise) as well as something called a Zapper Infrared Oven. Was that a precursor to the microwave?

  “If there’s a coffee maker,” the professor muttered. “Perhaps…” She went and opened a cupboard. We had hit paydirt. There was coffee there, a big thing of Smackers Instant Coffee with Flavor Gems! Next to it was a big, red can of U.S. Cup Dark Roast coffee with coffee filters.

  Billie opened another cupboard and there were plates, bowls, and a ton of stuff we could use. Another cupboard revealed a selection of pots and pans, some quite big. This breakroom was loaded.

  I knew why. The boy robot’s name was Adam, and along with Eve, there was a poster of them happily cooking together, with the words, “Happiness and Health come from Home Cooking.”

  Billie was already piling stuff on the table. “So, we have a big crockpot still in the box. The cookware is all from the same brand, Rooctonic. It’s non-stick, so that’s good.”

  “Rooctonic?” Holly wiped some sweat off her face. It was strangely hot in the building. “God only knows what kind of chemicals they used on their cookware. I don’t use Teflon for that very reason.”

  “Beggers can’t be choosers, Professor,” I said. “Besides, we have Opal. She can scan us to make sure it’s safe. Gather up everything.”

  Khanna found the knives. She rubbed her thumb along the edge of a butcher knife and smiled. “Machines mean nothing to Khanna. But this is good knife. Good pots. Good for cooking.”

  Holly found a cabinet full of spices. “Not sure how many of these will be good…it’s such a moist environment, but we can take them and see. You know, perhaps Opal could help us find natural-occurring herbs and legumes. We could grow our own garlic and onions to add some flavor to our fare.”

  We had such luxury problems. We had plenty of food now, but the next step was making meals that tasted good. I liked the idea of a garden. All we needed to do was find the plants, which again, Opal could help us with.

  Billie slammed a plastic silverware tray onto the table. “Okay, we got super fucking lucky. I vote we leave before we end up like the skeletons outside.”

  “Hold up. Opal, what can you tell me about this building and Ameritronics.”

  From my analysis, Sector 3.303.B was brought to K’Shaul twenty years ago. Human remains show signs of electrical attack. This unit has no record of an Ameritronics. More data needed. Adam and Eve are biblical characters, co-opted as mascots of Ameritronics and feature heavily in their marketing materials.

  “Is the cookware safe?” I asked.

  Derivation of Perfluorooctanoic acid, detected. Different molecular composition detected. Safe at elevated levels of heating. No chemical compounds poisonous to Humans or Arkadians detected.

  I relayed the information. “Put everything on the table, and I’ll carry it out. I’m so glad the company encouraged their employees to cook.”

  Holly set the can of Smackers Instant Coffee on the table. “I’m very pleased we have coffee.”

  “And Luptun tea,” Billie put in. “I found a big box of it. Most of the spices are from Eden Valley, that’s the brand anyway. I found a big container of Eden Valley sugar. It’s all clumped together, but we should be able to smash it apart.”

  The table wouldn’t fit through the door, and I didn’t want to mess taking off the legs, so I changed Betsy into an axe and hacked apart the doorframe and the wall. I then carried the table through the widened entryway, rather pleased with the salvage.

  While Holly and I loaded up the rowboat with our kitchen supplies, Khanna and Billie went to explore the big offices. I kept asking Opal if there were any threats, and she didn’t find any.

  While I loaded up the rowboat with our gear, Holly tied everything down with our rope.

  Surprise, surprise, Billie came back with a revolver, a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum with a six-inch barrel. She’s also found some extra ammunition, a gun belt, and a holster. She strapped the belt around her and looked like quite the gunslinger, if you ignored the survival suit.

  She was all smiles. “The boss man believed in protecting himself.” She also held up a thick blue book. “I found the Ameritronics Employee Handbook. It gives a history of the company. I’m hoping to read more about everyone’s favorite robots, Adam and Eve. I wonder if they broke away from Ameritronics and started this universe’s version of a sex toy company.”

  Khanna had an apple box full of different bottles.

  Billie explained that. “We also found booze, like a lot of booze, because it seems the bosses liked to drink back in the 70s. Can you confirm that, Professor?”

  Holly frowned. “I’m not that old, Ms. Kidd. That was before my time.”

  We added the box of alcohol, along with a few boxes of cigars, and gigantic desktop lighters to the pile of boxes in the rowboat.

  I cleared my seat, but Khanna, Holly, and Billie would have to hang onto the ropes to get back to the beach. It was good ninety minutes back to the beach, probably more, since we were so loaded down. That Formica table and chair set wasn’t light.

  Holly saw what I was thinking. “You want to keep looking, don’t you?”

  I smiled, sheepishly. “We got lucky early. Opal says there isn’t a storm or shark people around. I say we keep exploring.”

  Billie patted the handgun at her side. “Bring it on. I have a fucking gun, and I’m not afraid to use it.”

  Holly frowned. “Sometimes when you pushy your luck, luck pushes you right back.”

  Land of the Lust: Guns of K'Shaul), so if you can't wait, you can run on over there to keep on reading. And if you have some extra cash and like the story, I have a PayPal.