Tong Xiaomi's Self-Questioning

  English evening self-study is always a test. After the listening is finished, the classroom becomes quiet and only the sound of pens and papers rubbing against each other can be heard.

  Tong Xiaomi concentrated all her energy, finishing the test paper at her fastest speed, then propped up her head with her hands, looking at the completed paper and seriously reflecting on her mood.

  What's wrong with her today? Han Qi didn't do anything, so why is she angry?

  Does she hate that he smokes? No, she doesn't. She even likes the way his long fingers hold a cigarette, looking casual yet slightly melancholic. She's just worried about him, especially with the recent training, as he's been coughing badly. Because he won't accept her concern, she gets angry.

  However, it seems that's not all, because she didn't just find out today that he doesn't want to quit smoking. Moreover, his sweet words couldn't reduce the fire in her heart by half a bit. She seemed angry, not just about his smoking. She was already furious before he finished training.

  Yeah, before that she was already angry about the scenes she imagined in her mind, thinking of other women touching him in places she couldn't see, and feeling very resentful. When he said he didn't want to change his bad habits, she thought for sure he would still be fooling around with women when she wasn't around, and then he even resented her for controlling him! Right! That's what she was angry about! She's still thinking about it now and getting angry all over again.

  In other words, she was angry about something that hadn't happened, but rather something that she had imagined. She was angry at a possibility.

  So, is she feeling uneasy about the future? The whole person has been feeling a bit dull and lost these days, that's the feeling of being uneasy, right?

  So when did the unease begin?

  ... ... She thought about it... The source of the sense of loss in her heart was...

  He didn't stick to his own beginning?

  That is to say, if Han Qi didn't touch her, she would feel disappointed. Then, was she dissatisfied with not having a physical relationship?

  It seems a bit, but not entirely. When they're not being intimate, she rarely thinks about wanting to be close to him, and the excessive physical contact brings unexpressed desires that make her uncomfortable too, yet she still likes the feeling of being caressed by him...

  She liked his gaze when he spoiled her. Those deep and beautiful black eyes, warm and focused on her.

  And his passionate and gentle touch, sometimes passionate and sometimes lingering kisses, always domineeringly proving that he yearned for her...

  It's as if he's saying... He loves her...

  What she likes is his doting.

  But what makes her uneasy is the fear of losing this exclusivity...

  I finally understand this inexplicable emotion of mine.

  But isn't it still there, this unease?

  Maybe soon after, he will fade his own feelings. Even if it's the male lead of an idol drama, many people have changed their affections. Then, if he changes his affections, what will Tong Xiaomi do?

  Ah, thinking about this issue is really distressing. Xiaomi let out a deep sigh.

  The English teacher heard the noise and looked at her, smiling. She was pretending to check the test papers, but who checks without even flipping through the pages?

  After sighing, Xiaomi continued to sort out her emotions. Then she should be like the heroine in idol dramas, cry for a while and then go find someone to have a passionate romance with?

  If it wasn't Han Qi, who would have held her like that and kissed her like that?

  It's unbearable to think of a stranger kissing her. Now that she still likes Han Qi, she can't stand anyone else touching her. Regardless of whether Han Qi will touch other women or not, regardless of whether she will be angry and break up with him because of this, but as for her current mood, she only wants to accept Han Qi's affection.

  She now likes him, and he is still holding onto himself, carefully accompanying himself. What's the point of being self-conscious again?

  Since the future is unpredictable and it's unknown when they'll say goodbye, what's the point of her anxiety? Even if Han Qi tells her now that he loves her for life, she won't believe him, will she? Even if he's being serious, but she herself doesn't have the confidence to return such a heavy vow.

  She just needs to cherish the present moment, doesn't she? As long as every day he spends with her is happy and joyful, that's enough. As long as they cherish their time together, even if they're apart in the future (just thinking about it hurts), they'll definitely have no regrets.

  Tong Xiaomi finally understood and smiled with relief.

  The English teacher raised an eyebrow, "Got it, little one?" She smiled in a way that was beyond the ordinary, with a look that seemed to see right through the world. After glancing at her watch, she reminded the whole class:

  "There are still ten minutes left, everyone pay attention to the time."

  Thank you for your patience, if you like it, don't forget to vote and recommend/collection oh~

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