Left ear (21)

  The 21st paragraph: Left ear (21), the person I love most in this life.

  This is necessary.

  11

  No. 102 bus route, the terminal station goes all the way to the hospital in the county town.

  It's about an hour's drive from the city, and I came here two years ago. At that time, I accompanied my cousin's girlfriend to have an abortion. My cousin gave me 2,000 yuan and handed over a chattering girl to me. The girl was one year younger than me, and she chewed gum all the way, telling me many boring details about her and my cousin, including how my cousin flirted with her and how she almost fell off the balcony while washing clothes and shoes for my cousin. Her fingernails were sharp, and at first glance, she didn't seem like someone who could get things done. Moreover, I also knew that my cousin didn't like her at all; what he liked was probably just her youth and innocence.

  The county hospital was filthy, and the nurse's face was extremely expressionless. I remember her carelessly chewing gum as she entered the operating room, seemingly even whistling softly, but when she came out, she had completely changed into a different person, pale-faced, unable to stand still. I will never forget how she tightly grasped my collar and said in a faint voice: "I want to kill your cousin."

  Now, revisiting old haunts.

  I came alone, I have no man's shirttail to cling to, I have only myself.

  I also blew a loud whistle and then walked towards the hospital.

  I vividly remember that the obstetrics and gynecology department was on the third floor. After I finished registering, when I walked to the second floor, a text message rang in, surprisingly it was Xiaodui asking about me. Being missed by someone is a happy thing, I happily called her back, and she still spoke in a soft and gentle voice, making me want to rush to the other end of the phone to give her a hug. Just after I finished talking to Xiaodui on the phone, it rang again, this time it was Zhang Yang. He must have been calling me from the school's playground, I could still hear the sound of the wind whistling past his ears.

  "We were having a physical education class," he said. "I missed you, so I ran to the side to give you a call. It's really cold today, take care of yourself."

  "Uh-huh." I said.

  "Is everything done?"

  "In progress."

  "Are you alone?"

  "Yes."

  He hesitated for a moment and said: "That won't work, let's wait two days, after I'm on vacation, I'll accompany you, it's not okay to go alone."

  "It's okay."

  "I said no, so it's not going to happen!" Zhang Yang said. "To be honest, I'm really anxious today, I've been worried that something might go wrong. Hurry up and take the bus back, I only have one more week before my vacation starts, and I can take several days off, let me accompany you."

  "It's okay," I said. "Since you're already here, let's just resolve it and save you from worrying about it all the time."

  "But if something happens to you, won't I be even more worried?" Zhang Yang said, "Listen, come back."

  "Okay," I said.

  "I love you." He spat out three words on the other end of the phone. Then, he hung up.

  I'm a bit dazed. I put my phone in the pocket of my jeans and stand on the stairs, not knowing whether to go up or down. Two nurses pass by me, they look at me once, stare at my beautiful high-heeled shoes for several seconds, and then stare at my strange curly hair for several seconds before finally walking away.

  I finally turned around and went downstairs.

  At that moment, I realized that even if Zhang Yang's phone hadn't come, I wouldn't have been able to make up my mind. The baby in my belly is mine, it's the treasure of me and the person I love, it has the right to come into this world, no one can kill it, not even myself.

  It was just love that made me soft for a moment.

  I took the 102 bus back on its original route. When I passed by Tianzhong Station, I couldn't help but jump off the bus. I hid in a corner not far from the campus and observed, originally wanting to see Zhang Yang, walk up and give him a surprise, even if it was just a silent greeting. But I never waited for him, however, I suddenly saw Xiao Erduo, she wore another pink cotton-padded jacket, her face still as rosy as before, extremely cute.

  She walked alone on her way home, feeling a bit lonely.

  I know she regards me as a good friend, but at the gate of heaven, I didn't have the courage to stop her. I'm a trouble-prone person and I was afraid that I would bring trouble to her.

  So I leaned in the corner, silently watching her walk away.

  It wasn't until the third day of the Lunar New Year that I saw Little Ears again. Zhang Yang had gone to his grandmother's house in Shanghai and told me to wait for him to return, then accompany me to the hospital. My spirits had lifted a bit, I no longer wanted to sleep all day, and I even felt like telling jokes. When I was telling jokes with a little brother in "Whatever", I suddenly saw Little Ears, which surprised me a bit. I didn't really like her coming to such a place, so I quickly pulled her out from inside.

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