The Executive Team had another novel idea for the presentation: the chart, depicting the future employees wasn’t a one-page slide, but a large poster. Zoli had to concede, this way, the pictures were actually visible, and he could discern what kind of new hires were proposed.

  Well, they were all furry or feathered.

  “Honored CEO, sir, as you can see, we want to implement the Dire Wild Dog and its pack as the main attraction of the Zone. As it is befitting for a Zone Leader, it will be Level 10 and will receive Mostly Harmless, Pack Leader, and Martial Artist. With those, the customers will assume, the Zone Leader is there for some pets, and they won’t be able to attack first. There are a few Perks, that will allow the customers first strike, but since the woofer is just mostly harmless, it will get a boost in that case. Pack Leader will give the Leader another boost if at least two other dogs of the pack are still working and in proximity."

  “How do you teach a dog martial arts, though?” Zoli asked.

  “Well, we found an obscure art, specially designed for small four-legged creatures. It centers on making the victim stumble on the artist, while it goes for ankles and… well… reproductive organs. Quite a dangerous martial art, sir."

  It was – especially for males without proper protection for their… important bits.

  “As you can see, the Org Chart calls for the other six Wild Dogs to be promoted to Senior Agent status. To leverage existing effective action items, and deliver diverse methodologies, the on-employee assets, namely their teeth and biting power should be enhanced. Also, a wide array of different Perks are to be integrated. Randomly choosing from Suicide Attacker, Silent Running, Bloodhound, Bloodbath, Team Player, Taunt, Melee Evasion, Higher Initiative, and Intimidating would be our recommendation.”

  Zoli faintly remembered two of these, and could reasonably guess, what a few others were.

  “Confirming the competitive competencies, Team Player will work for the betterment of the team, and as such, for the betterment of the company, and Melee Evasion will give the employee a higher chance to dodge potential work?”

  “Correct, sir. Suicide Attacker will give the employee a colossal bonus for the first attack, both a chance to succeed and deliver expertise. Unfortunately, the employee would have to be re-hired afterward. Bloodhound gives the Senior Agent bonuses while providing customer service to larger creatures, Bloodbath simply enhances delivered service, Taunt makes the customer focus exclusively on the Representative for a time and Intimidating fosters fear in the customer. We ran the numbers, and with a Level 10 Senior Agent, we foresee a high chance that any customer at or below Level 5 will flee. Above Level 12 or so, the Perk will most likely not work as intended."

  “Good, good. Harnessing hyperscale core competencies will progressively impact back-to-back benefits." Zoli congratulated the Team, although he wasn't exactly sure, what the Perks would or should do. Supposedly, the Executive Team's teams weren't pulling his legs, or delivering false data and information.

  “As for the four open Senior Agent positions, we propose to hire a Badger, a Constructor Tree Snake, a Giant Great Horn, and a Rabid Dire Dwarf Cow. As for the associated Perks…"

  “Wait! Constructor Snake? Not Constrictor?”

  “No, sir. According to their CV, they construct elaborate traps by utilizing a secreted sticky substance. Allegedly, they have good camouflage too.”

  “All right. And the Cow?”

  “Well, they are small normal cows, but have huge, straight horns, and attack everything they see. They have delicious meat, which is, actually, highly poisonous, causing uncontrollable heavy diarrhea. The most interesting part is, that the meat is addictive too.”

  “Insidious!" Zoli took the miniature of the Giant Great Horn in hand and compared it to one of the miniatures of a customer. If the customer was average-sized, the huge, so to say colossal deer should be… larger. Maybe two meters at the shoulder? Maybe a bit more. The antlers were even larger – maybe up to four meters, tip-to-tip. "And what does this new hire do?"

  The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  “Stomp, kick, and dash, sir. With appropriate Perks, like Herbivore Rage, he will be even more excellent.”

  “All right. I trust, you appropriately aggregated accurate applications for the other Senior Agents too?”

  “Yes, sir, honored CEO, sir. Chameleon for the Snake, giving it even better camouflage, and making it look like a branch, Ferocious for the Badger, heightening delivered damage, and Stormtrooper for the Cow.”

  “Benchmark the proposed innovations!” Zoli declared “You may present the professionally fashioned distinctive further growth strategies.”

  “Yes, sir. The Org Chart calls for Deputy Zone Leaders as follows: a Freshwater Spikefish for the small cave at the Zone’s Eastern end, a Forest Croc, a Dire Monohorn, and two Cave Hyenas.”

  “Yeah, Boss. The devs came up with a fun idea for the Monohorn and the Cave Hyenas. See, there is this small meadow next to the larger cave's entrance. Here. As soon as customers are nearby, the Cave Hyenas will attack the Monohorn. The adventurers can choose. If they help the Monohorn and keep it alive, it will unlock the sub-floor. If they do nothing or attack the Monohorn, the sub-floor will stay closed. Also, we are planning for the choice to have a larger impact later, in a different Zone. A Monohorn or a Cave Hyena there will have different reactions, depending on what the adventurers did. Oh, and it is once per adventurer."

  “A seamlessly formulated covalent idea. However, if the customer wanted to experience the sub-zone again, he would be unable to do so. Repeat customers facilitate dynamic growth! Also, focusing only on the Monohorn, the initiative would exclude Hyena friends from exploring the sub-Zone! Also, imagine the fallout, if the company is painted as hyenaphobic!"

  “We could make it work. Helping either will unlock the subfloor. However, if they helped the hyenas, they would still attack. As for repeat customers… Hmmm… The latter reaction would depend on which of the Minibosses the adventurers helped exclusively. If they helped both, nothing would have. Same if the party members helped different opponents."

  “Burke, I have to remind you to exclusively use intrinsically incepted impactful vocabulary. Intern speech has no place in an executive meeting."

  “Sure, boss.”

  While the Head of the Creative Department was obviously ashamed and thought about how to rephrase his statement, Zoli compared the miniatures and the attached CVs. Not, that he was overly interested, and miniatures were, in his opinion childish, but this way he was able to pretend to monitor his underlings’ work.

  The Spikefish was underwhelming – just a meter-long collection of spikes. The only virtue, Zoli could see was the venom in the spikes; according to the CV, it made muscles lock up. Probably a nice touch, if one was underwater.

  The Forest Croc had a much more impactful appearance. It looked like a mix of that Southeast Asian land dragon and a large conventional crocodile. Or was it an alligator? Zoli never cared enough to figure out, which was which. In the end, if the CV said, it was a croc, it was a croc. Either way, probably not many customers would argue with four meters of corded meanness if they were named correctly.

  The Dire Monohorn was… interesting. A light gray in color with a white underbelly, it was maybe one and a half meters at the shoulder. It basically resembled a smaller horse or larger donkey but with more robust legs – and a half-meter-long horn tucked on its forehead. The creature was definitely different from a Unicorn – as far as Zoli knew, those were pink and inflatable.

  The Cave Hyenas… Were large hyenas, with huge incisors and nicely spotted light brown fur.

  “Good selection for further future employees. What is the Process Map calling for professionally promote performance based… processes?”

  “Well, sir, aside from the schema, Burke outlined, the Spikefish will guard a hidden treasure in the mostly hidden cave. With Submariner and First Strike, it will be able to deliver focused customer service to anyone, exploring the cave." Dana informed him "The Forest Croc, on the other hand, will get another three Agents to roam the Southern slopes of the Zones. Armor-Piercing Bite and Enhanced Bite will make sure to optimize penetrating power. We are currently outlining a patch of the woods, where better merchandise could be found, and set the Crocs to serve as the representatives to prevent easy redistribution."

  “Yeah, boss, no adventurer will pilfer the loot easily, while the Corcs are there!”

  “Language, Burke!”

  “Sure, Boss.”

  “I trust, we have discussed every point on the agenda.” Zoli stood up to wrap up the meeting.

  “Ehmmm… Honored CEO, sir. There is one last point to discuss.”

  Hopefully, it was about something important, like the exact color to be used for charts or the prescribed font type for corporate communication.

  This is a Great Horn