- i've been uneasy, sorry -
"..out"
the goddess said it while enduring cry
"this.. is my house, and my room.. out"
of course for a soul without any place to go it's impossible . so
"there's.. a guest room beside. just stay there.. and never step here again"
she squeezed that last words
the girl didn't said anything other than staring the maid for awhile
she only standing up and hand over the plushie back
after a voiceless exchange, only the sound of door closed can be heard
-the goddess side-
that night..
"uuu..."
the goddess pondering inside her bed
"what am i doing? getting angry with such a younger girl far from my age?"
she regret her un-goddess behaviour
doesn't know what to do, she looks at pi-chan
the plushie is the last gift given to her creator before they departed from life
because it accompanies her every night she give it nickname
but with her power, she can restore pi chan easily
it shouldn't have to be a problem if it broke, so her action is unnecessary
"i'm getting weird"
ponder goddess
"ever since i involved myself with humans, i keep getting strange feeling that i don't even understand. today is the first time i ever feels angry with someone else too"
although she lives for more than 2000 years, the time where she meet with other intelligent living being can be counted with one hand
that's why, this kind of feeling. is the first
bringing pii chan, she was speaking to herself
"what should i do, creator? what is.. living actually means anyway? is what i experienced, can be called as living?"
having question without nobody answered, she goes back to sleep
- lost girl side -
while taking a bath while humming, the girl washing her body
it feels strange, despite her only exist as a soul she doesn't feel any different when still alive
perhaps it's because this place is special
"aimi chan aimi chan, going into horizon, towards the light. aimi chan aimi chan"
she was singing the theme song of her favorite game
while washing her hair, she looked at her appearance once more in the mirror
"it exactly looks like before i'm coming to this world. perhaps the state of soul is different from body?"
there's no scar or wound she received when died
which confirm that she was indeed “died” back then
thinking about it again she reminded herself of what she seen before
inside goddess lcd tv look-alike, she saw the state of her current body
surprisingly, the form is clearly different from before
a pale white skin with scale, a height not different from child, height that's clearly lower than before, glittery silver hair, golden irises, tails and claw
she looks more like aimi appearance that she always play in pc game than her previous appearance
while thinking if she want to "attack" her and tasting her like aimi in game, she perish the thought
that's her own body after all. what did she wants to do anyway? she wasn't that far narcissist to attack her own body
according to goddess, because her second wish is to kill someone it took that form
Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!
if the wishes is granted, it probably gonna return like normal
"probably" the goddess itself is not sure since this is the first time it happened
when taking another glance at the girl in monitor that happily catch a fish while closing her eyes i start to doubt myself
"can i.. really go back? what if, i can't? what then? where.. where ..should i go? "
the thought is haunting her
there's no guarantee she can return alive
her wish was to survive
to do anything she wants without restraint
to not lose to anyone and anything in the world
to see a lot of things she never seen before
"to live" and then
"i.. want to live while bracing my leg above earth"
not earth the planet, the earth that i stand
anywhere, anyplace is fine as long i can..
live
see the world
go
wherever and whenever
anytime anywhere
thats.. the proof that i'm "alive"
there's no lie with that
then, what about her revenge?
did she angry because she lost?
did she angry because the fight isnt settled?
did she angry because she got ignored?
did she angry because his subordinates rapes her?
did she angry because that country trapped her?
no..
it doesn't feel like that
the reason she was angry
why she was unreasonable toward the goddess earlier
was..
"i am, afraid.."
that everybody and everything is gonna leaving her
that she has been left to die
that she, will lose
that fate, is more crueler than death
of course it's unreasonable
every living thing gonna die someday
all things that born would surely died
she understand that
she doesn't want a immortal life without end anyway
what she wants, it's simpler
to move forward
go
go in front of you
never stopped walking
never stopped moving forward
run run run
that's why
if there's a big boulder stopping you
if an obstacle gets in your way
either that man, god, devil, or buddha trying to stop you
then destroy them
no need to takes a side glance
no need to pay attention to it to
until the day you can no longer run
until the day you can no longer stand
move
go
crush
take everything that you wants
grab everything that moved
mow them down
take them with this hand
crush it, smash it, pressure it
then..
erase them from the face of this world
never regrets, never looked back
until the ends
stay true to yourself
yes
that's what she wants
that's what she needs to do
that's why..
even if it's to my body
i won't give it to anything else
with that in mind, she renewed her determination
